I’m in Love with a Boy at School

Should you take the chance on a boy you know is straight?

Dear Max,
there is this boy that I really like at school. But he is straight.

I really want to tell him how I feel, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t stand this! I think about him 24/7 I can’t get him out of my head.

Do you think I should tell him how I feel?

Thanks Max, you give great advice! 🙂

–Francis

Related: Waiting for Him to Love You

Dear Francis,
why bother? He is straight! He will never be yours – no matter how much you want it – so it’s a total waste of your time.

Focus your energy into someone who is gay and who is going to give you what you need and the love that you deserve. Remember, straight men are like a Barbie doll collection. You can look at them, you may be able to play with them, but they will never love you back or will never want to be in a real relationship with you.

So save yourself some hurt and keep that infatuation to yourself. Keep him as a fantasy. That way, you can have him any time you want. The reality is – in real life – you can’t.

5 COMMENTS

  1. As a most mature gay man, I have had the privilege of going through most of lifes experiences!
    I have read a few of the articles, Q&A’s posted on here, and have been most impressed with the intelligent, concise, clear answers to these many perplexing questions! Probably the 1st time I’ve read something so intelligently true for some decades!! Well Done Max!! Absolutely 1st rate!!

  2. I think there’s one thing you might find out before you give up on this boy entirely. A lot of guys profess to be straight at school. There are a lot of obvious reasons for that, the most likely being the possibility of being bullied. Now, if you’ve ask him and he says he’s straight, take his word for it and drop the subject. But often gay guys forget there is a sizable contingent of bi guys out there, who often identify as straight until they have a gay experience or come out publicly. And even if you can’t “have” this guy, you could still be friends, and he might be the best friend you ever have. My point is, talk to him! If you get to know him, you’ll probably figure out whether he’s 100% straight or not. Good luck.

    • Konkrypton is right about this, unless you have real concerns about getting beaten up, and if you are on really good terms with this fellow, talk to him and explain how you feel He could be just acting or he could be in a very difficult situation that keeps him in the closet. ONE THING FOR CERTAIN: If he tells you he is straight and not interested, BACK OFF, and leave him alone. You will have your heart smashed into a million pieces if you try to go after a straight guy. You are not going to ever turn him gay if he is truly straight, even if you manage to work yourself into an all-nighter he will always be straight and he will never be capable of loving you like you deserve. Talk to him. If he is decent at all he will understand and the two of you can go from there. Just be prepared to walk away, don’t be unfriendly (like a woman scorned) just part ways romantically speaking.

  3. I suspect, that like nearly all gay men, we fall in love with a straight boy at school. I certainly did, not once but many times. It took me a long time to realise that my love could never be returned. Having confessed to my feelings to one boy, he was balanced and sure of his sexuality enough to understand and explain to me that while he might like me a lot, he could never sleep with me. We remain friends to this day, some forty years later and I was invited and went to his wedding. So much did he like me he made me godfather to his son, a position I was proud to accept.

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