As a Straight Man Should I be worried about suppressing my urge to experiment?
I am a 30 year old male who has always considered myself to be straight.
I have never been “attracted” to a man but about five years ago I became conscious of being turned-on by the idea of servicing a guy.
I am very attracted to women and hope to get married to one someday and have no intention of ever having a relationship with a man, furthermore I couldn’t deal with anyone I know finding out I have this fantasy.
Still, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’d say for every three sexual thoughts I have about women, I have one about servicing a guy.
My question is, which head should I listen too? If I try to ignore this am I likely to develop some kind of mental issue?
Or should I do it once, just to have a gay experience, and try to “get it out of my system”?
–Curious in Minnesota
Dear Curious in Minnesota,
Let me first start out with saying that you are definitely not alone in this. Many guys – and girls too for that matter – will try almost anything at least once and that does not make them bad people. It is totally natural.
As with so many other things in life, if you are uncertain if you like something or not, you just have to take a leap of faith and try it out. Some foods may look good and tasty, and then when you try it, you may be pleasantly surprised or very disappointed.
You only live once and if you have this on your mind and cannot live without the answer, then go for it. Having sex with a guy doesn’t define you and make you any more – or less – gay than you already are.
Hopefully one day we can put all these labels on the shelf and look at them as a curiosity of the past. But until then, I do believe you will regret not having tried it out and it’s definitely much better to do it now that you are free and single than to have this urge haunting you when you are in a serious relationship.
Whatever you decide to do… please play safe.