Barry Diller has publicly come out as gay at the age of 83, offering a deeply personal look into his decades-long relationship with fashion designer Diane von Fürstenberg.
In an excerpt from his new memoir Who Knew, published by New York Magazine, Diller recounts how their relationship defied expectations from the beginning.
They met in 1974, at a time when Barry had only been romantically involved with men, and what started as indifference soon grew into a passionate and lasting connection.
“We weren’t just friends. We aren’t just friends,” he writes. “Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years.”
Diller explains that although he’s always liked men, his love for Diane was never in conflict with that part of himself.
“I can’t explain it to myself or to the world,” he said. “In some cosmic way we were destined for each other.”
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The couple married in 2001 after years of an off-and-on romance, including a decade-long split before reuniting in 1991.
Reflecting on the shifting attitudes around sexuality, Diller said, “Sexual identities are much more fluid and natural, without all those rigidly defined lanes of the last century.”
Despite past speculation about his orientation, Barry never publicly addressed it—until now.
“I would never pose or pretend,” he said. “I wouldn’t do a single thing to make anyone believe I was living a heterosexual life.”
He also recalled the surprise he felt when he was physically attracted to Diane on their first date, something he hadn’t experienced with a woman since his teenage years.
“We wound around each other, making out like teenagers,” he wrote. “There was no effort, no reasoning, no ambition—just sheer excitement.”
For Barry, the romance was a miracle. “It really is the miracle of my life,” he shared.
Diane von Fürstenberg has not commented publicly on the memoir excerpts, but she did post around the same time to honor their late friend André Leon Talley, which some have interpreted as a graceful acknowledgment of the moment.
Their story is a touching example of how love doesn’t always follow a script—and that living truthfully, even when it’s complicated, can be the most beautiful path of all.
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