How to Ace Your First Gay Date

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Dear Max,

I’m new to the gay dating scene and quite nervous about my first date next week.

Do you have any advice on making a good impression and avoiding any major faux pas?

-Nervous Neil

Related: Five Big Dating Don’ts


Dear Nervous Neil,

Embarking on the journey of dating can indeed be a mix of excitement and nerves, especially in the gay community where dating dynamics can be a bit different. Here are some tips to help you navigate your first date with confidence and ease:

  1. Be Yourself: This might sound cliché, but it’s crucial. Authenticity is attractive. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your date.
  2. Choose a Comfortable Setting: Pick a venue where you both can be at ease. A coffee shop or a casual restaurant can be a great choice. Avoid overly noisy or crowded places.
  3. Keep the Conversation Balanced: It’s important to both talk and listen. Share stories about yourself but also show interest in your date’s life. Avoid controversial topics like politics on a first date.
  4. Mind Your Manners: Simple things like being polite to the waitstaff and not being glued to your phone can make a big difference.
  5. Dress Appropriately: Wear something that makes you feel confident but is also suitable for the venue you’ve chosen.
  6. Stay Open-Minded: Don’t set rigid expectations. Be open to the experience, even if it doesn’t lead to a romantic connection.
  7. Safety First: If you’ve met online, choose a public place for your first meeting. Let a friend know where you’re going.
  8. End on a Good Note: Whether you felt a spark or not, be courteous when the date ends. A simple “I had a great time” or a follow-up message can keep things clear and kind.

Remember, Neil, the goal of a first date is to get to know someone better, not to impress them at any cost. Relax, be yourself, and enjoy the experience of meeting someone new. Who knows, it could be the start of something wonderful.

Good luck!

Related: Dating Two Guys at Once

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