For Nearly 12 Years, the Navy Couldn’t Know About the Man He Loved. At Midnight, They Got Married.

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For Nearly 12 Years, the Navy Couldn’t Know About the Man He Loved. At Midnight, They Got Married.

For more than eleven years, Navy Lt. Gary Ross and Dan Swezy built a life together in private.

Gary was serving under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the policy that barred openly gay, lesbian and bisexual people from serving in the U.S. military.

So the relationship had to remain hidden.

Then, at midnight on September 20, 2011, the policy ended.

Ross and Swezy were waiting in Vermont. When the repeal took effect, they got married.

A relationship kept hidden

The couple had already been together for more than eleven years. But Gary could not safely acknowledge Dan as his partner while serving in the Navy.

Their wedding in Duxbury, Vermont, was reported as the first same-sex military marriage in the United States after the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

There was no need to explain what the moment meant. The ceremony itself was the explanation.

For years, Gary had been expected to separate his military service from the person he loved. At midnight, the law stopped demanding that silence.

From policy to real life

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell had been in effect since 1993. Its repeal was an important step toward allowing LGBTQ+ people to serve openly, although federal recognition of same-sex marriages and military spousal benefits remained contested at the time.

That distinction matters. Ending the policy did not instantly erase every form of inequality.

But for Gary and Dan, the change created a precise, unforgettable opening: the chance to marry as soon as the rule that had forced Gary into secrecy was gone.

Fifteen years later, their story is still more personal than political. It is about the man Gary loved, the years they protected their relationship, and the husband waiting for him when the clock reached midnight.

📷 Gary Ross on Facebook

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He Was 20 When He Met Michael. One Month Later, Douglas Stuart Knew.

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He Was 20 When He Met Michael. One Month Later, Douglas Stuart Knew.

Douglas Stuart was 20 when he met Michael Cary during a student exchange in Philadelphia. One month later, the future Booker Prize winner says he already knew Michael was the man he would spend his life with.

In a new interview with EL PAÍS, Stuart describes the couple as having effectively “got married” a month after they met — although two men could not legally marry at the time.

They have now been together for 30 years.

Finding safety and love

The relationship began during Stuart’s first visit to the United States. He and Michael then spent four years in a long-distance relationship, building a life across countries before settling together.

Stuart has described Michael as the person who made him feel safe and loved. That history gives their relationship particular emotional weight.

Stuart grew up in poverty in Glasgow and has spoken about learning to feel ashamed of both his class background and his homosexuality. His novels, including Shuggie Bain and Young Mungo, return again and again to queer people searching for tenderness in environments that have taught them to expect pain.

Young Mungo cover
Young Mungo cover

Behind those books is a quieter love story: the man who became home.

Thirty years together

A profile in The Times also recalls how Stuart met Michael when they were both 20. Stuart has said that the instant he saw him, he fell in love and did not go home for three days.

The legal language of marriage came later. The certainty came first.

That is what makes this more than a literary profile. It is the story of a gay man who found love at 20, held on through four years of distance, and is still building a life with the same person three decades later.

📷 @douglas\_stuart

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They Were Trying to Have a Baby. The Journey May Have Saved One Dad’s Life

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They Were Trying to Have a Baby. The Journey May Have Saved One Dad’s Life

A family’s journey to parenthood has brought a Melbourne couple a daughter — and may also have led to an early cancer diagnosis.

Adam Braitberg and his husband, Omer Kuchman, wanted to have a child.

Adam’s older sister Jess agreed to donate the egg, while his twin sister Ellie was preparing to become the surrogate.

During routine tests before the surrogacy process began, doctors found 21 polyps in Ellie. Her husband, gastroenterologist Elliot Freeman, noticed that her iron levels were unusually low, leading to further investigation.

Because the findings could have implications for close relatives, Adam underwent a colonoscopy too. Doctors discovered a 10-centimetre mass and diagnosed him with colon cancer.

The process was put on hold while Adam travelled to Jerusalem for surgery. He later said he was clear and in remission.

A month later, Ellie was pregnant

Just one month after Adam’s operation, Ellie became pregnant. Nine months later, Gali was born and placed into the arms of her two fathers.

Adam and Omer were able to cut the umbilical cord and welcome their daughter with the family members who had helped make her possible.

“She saved our lives physically and emotionally,” Adam told ABC Australia.

A family effort

Adam has described his sisters’ involvement as an extraordinary act of love. He came out to Ellie when he was 19, and she reassured him that she would always be there for him.

Now Gali has two dads and two aunts whose roles are part of her origin story. The family plans to tell her how she was created — through a combination of science, generosity and an enormous amount of love.

What began as an attempt to bring a baby into the world also led to a diagnosis that may have saved one father’s life.

📷 Supplied by the family

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Sebastian Croft Brings Queer Activism to The Celebrity Traitors

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Sebastian Croft Brings Queer Activism to The Celebrity Traitors

Sebastian Croft is about to enter the castle on The Celebrity Traitors. But the Heartstopper actor is bringing more than acting experience to the BBC reality show.

He is also a queer musician and activist whose work reaches beyond the screen.

Queer lives, art and history

Croft co-created Queer Was Always Here with fellow actor Connor Jessup in 2023.

The initiative describes itself as a community dedicated to queer lives, queer art and queer history. It also works with Choose Love to support LGBTQIA+ refugees and displaced people.

That makes Croft’s public identity part of a wider commitment. He is not simply playing queer characters or appearing in LGBTQ+ stories. He is helping preserve queer history and support people who need solidarity now.

Music as another kind of openness

Croft has also begun releasing music. In his song Tokyo, he sings about meeting a boy in the south of France and a “queer romance.”

The song offers a more personal form of visibility: not a character written by someone else, but a young queer artist putting his own feelings and experiences into words.

Listening, learning and taking responsibility

Croft also faced criticism over his involvement with Hogwarts Legacy, given the views of the Harry Potter author on trans people.

He apologized for the hurt caused and said: “There is no LGB without the T.”

That response is worth including in his story because activism is not about presenting oneself as perfect. It is also about listening when people explain why a choice has caused harm, learning more and changing how you move through the world.

Traitor or Faithful?

Croft will appear in the second series of The Celebrity Traitors alongside LGBTQ+ stars including Bella Ramsey and Joe Lycett. The series begins on BBC One and BBC iPlayer on October 1.

Whether Croft ends up among the Traitors or the Faithful, viewers will be meeting more than the actor who played Ben Hope in Heartstopper.

They will also be watching a queer musician who is helping make room for queer lives, history and community.

📷 @sebastiancroft

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Andrew Scott Plays a Gay Actor Who Had Even More to Hide

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Andrew Scott Plays a Gay Actor Who Had Even More to Hide

Andrew Scott was once advised to keep his homosexuality private because he could “get away with it.” Now he is playing a gay actor whose sexuality and illness were kept hidden from the public.

In Elsinore, Scott portrays Ian Charleson, the Scottish actor known for Chariots of Fire and Gandhi. The film follows Charleson during the final months of his life, including his acclaimed 1989 performance as Hamlet at London’s National Theatre.

A performance the audience did not understand

Charleson was seriously ill with AIDS while playing Hamlet. The public was not told. He died eight weeks after his final performance, aged 40.

His sexuality and diagnosis had been kept private during an era when being openly gay could damage an actor’s career, and when AIDS was surrounded by fear and stigma. Charleson later asked for AIDS to be recorded as the cause of death, helping challenge the silence around the disease.

The performance itself became legendary. It was widely praised as one of the finest Hamlets of its time, and Ian McKellen gave Charleson his Evening Standard best actor statuette after seeing him perform.

“I could get away with it”

Scott has spoken about receiving similar career advice early in his own life: keep his sexuality private because he could pass as straight enough to avoid the consequences.

That makes his role in Elsinore more than a conventional biographical performance. Scott is an openly gay actor portraying a gay actor who had to protect his private life while his body was failing him.

The two men lived in different eras, but the pressure is part of the same history. One was encouraged to disappear behind his work. The other is using his visibility to bring that hidden life into view.

Remembering the man behind the tragedy

The film has attracted major attention for Scott’s performance, and early awards discussion has focused on the possibility of Oscar recognition. But the deeper significance lies elsewhere.

Elsinore returns Charleson to the centre of his own story: not only as a man who died of AIDS, but as a gifted gay actor who delivered a remarkable Hamlet while carrying an almost unimaginable secret.

Scott’s performance cannot change what Charleson endured. It can help ensure that audiences remember the courage, talent and humanity behind the silence.

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