Some gay sons did not know how to tell their mothers they were gay.

So they turned on Days of Our Lives.

More than a decade later, Deidre Hall has revealed just how deeply one of the soap opera’s landmark gay storylines reached beyond television.

In April 2012, viewers watched Will Horton, played by Chandler Massey, come out as gay to his grandmother, Marlena Evans.

Deidre Hall, who has played Marlena for decades, says the show soon began receiving letters from young gay men who had watched the scene.

Some told her they had used the episode to help begin their own coming-out conversations at home.

When Marlena Simply Loved Will

The scene was powerful partly because Marlena did not turn Will’s revelation into a crisis.

She listened.

She reassured him.

And she made it clear that being gay changed nothing about her love for her grandson.

For gay viewers watching in 2012, particularly those who had not yet come out to their own families, that response could represent something they desperately hoped to hear themselves.

Hall told Out that the show received “so much mail from young gay men” afterward.

One message she remembers was devastatingly simple.

“I didn’t know how to tell my mom, so I put on the show.”

In other words, some viewers did not have the words yet.

So they borrowed Will’s.

A Soap Opera Became A Bridge

Coming-out stories had appeared on television before Will Horton’s, so the importance of the moment does not depend on claiming it was the first.

What makes it remarkable is the response Hall says the show received from actual gay viewers.

For them, the storyline was not simply representation happening safely on the other side of a television screen.

It became a tool they could use in their own homes.

Imagine sitting beside your mother knowing you need to tell her something that feels enormous, but being unable to make the first sentence come out.

Then imagine putting on a television episode where somebody else says it for you.

Will tells Marlena.

Marlena responds with love.

And suddenly there is somewhere for the real conversation to begin.

That is an impact television ratings cannot really measure.

From Coming Out To A Gay Wedding

The storyline did not end with Will coming out.

His relationship with Sonny Kiriakis became an important part of Days of Our Lives, taking the characters from dating to marriage.

In 2014, Marlena returned to the center of their story for another major moment.

She officiated Will and Sonny’s wedding.

The ceremony has been described as daytime television’s first wedding between two male characters.

For viewers who had watched Will nervously come out to his grandmother two years earlier, seeing that same grandmother proudly marry him to another man created a particularly lovely full-circle moment.

When Representation Leaves The Screen

Hall has now played Marlena for more than 50 years, through the kind of spectacular twists only a long-running soap opera could produce.

But her memories of the letters from gay viewers show why quieter scenes can sometimes matter most.

There were no supernatural possessions or impossible returns from the dead required.

It was simply a young gay man telling someone he loved the truth about himself.

And someone he loved telling him that everything was going to be okay.

For some young men watching at home, that fictional conversation became the beginning of a real one.

That is more than good representation.

That is television stepping out of Salem and into somebody’s living room at exactly the moment they needed it. ❤️🌈

📷 @dayspeacock

🎬 Prefer video? Subscribe to B-Gay on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BGaycom

Grindr has agreed to pay £26 million to settle a UK lawsuit brought by thousands of users who alleged the app shared highly sensitive personal information, including HIV status, with advertising companies.

The settlement brings an end to a two-year legal battle involving around 12,000 claimants (Guardian).

But there is an important distinction.

Grindr disputes the allegations, and the settlement includes no admission or finding of liability.

The case relates to what the company describes as historical data practices from before 2020.

What The Users Alleged

The lawsuit was filed at the High Court of England and Wales in April 2024 by law firm Austen Hays on behalf of Grindr users.

The claim alleged that sensitive personal information had been shared in ways that breached users’ privacy rights.

Among the information at issue was HIV status, one of the most sensitive health details a person might choose to disclose on a dating app.

For an app used heavily by gay and bisexual men, that detail makes the case particularly significant.

Many users may choose to share intimate information on a profile because they believe it will help them navigate dating, sex and relationships more safely and openly.

That expectation also depends on trust about where that information goes.

£26 Million Settlement

Under the agreement, Grindr will pay £13 million by the end of this year and another £13 million by the end of March next year.

If the total were divided equally among the 12,000 claimants, the average payment would be about £2,167 each.

Actual compensation may differ depending on how the settlement is distributed.

Grindr said the case concerned “historical data practices before 2020.”

The company also said the settlement contains no admission of liability and that it continues to dispute the allegations.

At the same time, Grindr acknowledged what it described as distress and loss of trust expressed by some UK users over that period.

The company says it has overhauled its privacy programme since 2020 and remains committed to transparency, user control and responsible data practices.

Why HIV Status Matters So Much

This is not simply a dispute over ordinary advertising data.

HIV status can carry deeply personal, medical and social consequences.

For queer people in particular, there is a long history of stigma attached to HIV and AIDS.

That makes control over who sees that information especially important.

A dating app asking users to trust it with something that sensitive also takes on a responsibility to make clear how the information is handled.

The controversy around Grindr’s data practices did not begin with this lawsuit.

In 2018, the company announced it would stop sharing users’ HIV status with third-party companies after researchers in Norway revealed that such data had been shared.

Then, in 2021, Norway’s data protection authority fined Grindr 65 million Norwegian kroner for separate violations of data-protection rules.

That fine was later upheld by Norway’s court of appeal.

A Bigger Question About Queer Digital Privacy

Grindr has become part of everyday life for millions of gay, bisexual and queer men around the world.

That makes cases like this about more than one app.

They raise a much broader question about what queer people are asked to trade in exchange for convenience, connection and visibility online.

Location.

Sexuality.

Relationship preferences.

Health information.

All of those details can become extraordinarily sensitive when combined.

And users may reasonably expect that information shared in a dating context will not quietly travel somewhere else.

The £26 million settlement does not establish that Grindr committed the wrongdoing alleged by the users.

But it does show how seriously questions of privacy and trust are being treated when highly sensitive personal data is involved.

For queer users, that trust matters for a very simple reason.

Opening up to another person is one thing.

Opening up to an advertising ecosystem is something else entirely.

🎬 Prefer video? Subscribe to B-Gay on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BGaycom