Keegan Hirst, the first professional rugby league player in the UK to come out as gay, is opening up like never before about his personal journey of self-acceptance, emotional healing, and learning to embrace sex with men without shame.

The 37-year-old former athlete, who made headlines in 2015 when he publicly came out, is now a life coach supporting other gay men in navigating everything from fitness to mental wellbeing.

In a deeply candid interview on the All Out podcast with Jon Dean, Hirst reflected on the years he spent in the closet, including being married to a woman and raising two children before coming to terms with his sexuality.

He spoke openly about the internalized homophobia he battled for years, describing how early sexual experiences with men left him feeling “gross” and ashamed.

“It used to be like, after you finish [sex], go ‘oh I need to get out of here. This is f**king gross,’” Hirst said, acknowledging how transactional and emotionally disconnected those encounters often were.

After coming out, he quickly entered into a relationship with a man, which helped him begin to “normalize” the idea that sex could be loving, emotional, and validating—far from the dehumanizing encounters he had previously experienced.

“It got me out of the transactional sex stuff and the hookup stuff,” Hirst shared. “Which obviously has its place, but when you’re coming to terms with your sexuality… hookups can feel dehumanizing.”

He also recalled diving into the gay scene, using Grindr and going to clubs in Leeds, but admitted the experience was overwhelming and, at times, unfulfilling.

Therapy played a major role in his transformation, with one therapist comparing coming out later in life to a shaken soda bottle finally exploding with pent-up energy and desire.

Though at first he embraced the attention, he eventually grew wary of people who wanted to sleep with him simply because of his fame or appearance.

“I remember saying, ‘I’m not a piece of meat, you know. There’s more to me than that,’” Hirst reflected.

Today, Keegan is happily partnered with Joel Wood, co-host of the Happy Healthy Homo podcast, and the couple has been together for over three years.

Hirst now leads Gay Man’s Coaching, an initiative that offers support and resources for queer men through physical training, therapy, and workshops—including a recent multi-day event in Chicago.

Keegan Hirst’s honesty offers a deeply relatable and inspiring message for many gay men still working through shame and stigma. His journey shows that healing is possible—and that self-love is the most powerful transformation of all.