Strictly Come Dancing favourite and Great British Bake Off winner John Whaite has opened up about a secret steroid addiction that left him feeling so low he says it made him want to end his life.
In a raw new Instagram video, the TV baker and cookbook author explains that he first turned to steroids during lockdown, when endless mirror checks and social media thirst traps convinced him his perfectly normal body somehow was not enough.
Like so many queer men, John admits he tried the usual “fixes” first, hitting the gym, tweaking his diet, and pushing himself harder, but still felt stuck with a body that did not match the hyper muscled image he thought he was supposed to have.
That is when steroids entered the chat, and at first they gave him exactly what he thought he wanted, a bigger, leaner, more shredded version of himself that drew praise and likes and comments that briefly quieted the noise in his head.
The more people complimented his new physique, the more he felt pressured to keep chasing that high, even as the side effects started to pile up behind the scenes.
In the video John talks frankly about losing his natural sex drive, experiencing intense swings in libido, and even dealing with physical changes like shrunken testicles, all while feeling increasingly disconnected from his own body.
He describes putting body image ahead of his mental health, ahead of time with his family, and ahead of the softer, cosier parts of life that originally made fans fall in love with him back in the Bake Off tent.
At the lowest point he says steroids made him want to end his life, a terrifying admission that underlines just how dark body image struggles can become when they are mixed with depression, anxiety, and an industry obsessed with perfection.
John also touches on his time on OnlyFans, where his gym built body and cheeky charm brought in serious money, but also locked him into a cycle of feeling like he had to look a certain way to keep subscribers clicking.
He says the platform could have made him even more cash if he had focused on it full time, but ultimately realised that chasing views and abs was costing him peace of mind and any sense of balance.
Now he is choosing a different recipe for his life, stepping away from steroids, scaling back from the adult content grind, and refocusing on his brownie business Ruff Puff and the kitchen creativity that first brought him joy.
In a line that has already been shared widely, John says, “That stops now, I choose life, I choose health, I choose love, I choose a simpler life,” and honestly that is the kind of mantra many of us could probably borrow for our own bathroom mirror.
It is especially powerful coming from a queer man who has been praised for his looks, thirsted after in Strictly rehearsals with Johannes Radebe, and turned his body into part of his brand, because it reminds us that even the hotties are not immune to this stuff.
For fans who have followed his journey from nervous baker in 2012 to confident TV personality and out gay man, the confession lands like a hug and a wake up call all at once.
Yes we can still appreciate the shirtless pics and the dance floor smoulder, but John is asking us to value the softer things too, like honesty, boundaries, and the courage it takes to start again when you realise you have gone too far.
If you are scrolling his story and recognising your own battles with body image, gym pressure, or substances, his message is basically this, you are allowed to step off the treadmill, ask for help, and choose something kinder for yourself.
And if you are just here because you love a handsome baker with big feelings, consider this your reminder that the sexiest glow up of all is the one where someone chooses to stay alive, stay present, and stay true to who they really are.
📷 IG: @ john_whaite