As you consider coming out it’s easy to think that your happiness may destroy your family, but you’re wrong
I recently came out to my friends, who suggested I join a gay youth group.
I went to a meeting tonight, and had 2 severe panic attacks and ended up in my car for about 1 1/2 hours trying to calm down.
It looks like I have trouble talking to new people about being gay. Every time I tried to talk, I kept thinking of my family, and what they would say if they knew where I was REALLY at.
My family has yet to be informed that I am gay, mostly because I come from a conservative/traditional Korean family.
Should I bite the bullet and risk my family/health insurance/college just to tell them so I might not have this mental flash every time I talk to another man?
I’m just so confused, is my happiness really worth the destruction of my family? I’m their only son, and they are wanting me to carry on the family name.
I really need to know someone’s opinion that isn’t involved with my life. Thank you!
-Confused and frustrated
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Dear Confused and frustrated,
American culture is very different from Korean culture. What is accepted here in the United States may not be accepted in Korea, but I would believe there are many of the same issues with very traditional/religious families everywhere.
It is up to you to decide whether or not you want your family to know. Do you feel strong enough to manage without your family, at least for a while? Because it may take you family some time to get used to the fact that you’re gay.
As you grow older, you will hopefully find that you have the power to be happy by accepting who you are. At that point, it really does not matter who knows and who does not know that you’re gay.
Remember, if you’re happy with yourself it’s easier to bring happiness to others.
Related: How to Find an Honest Gay Man
Also South Korea is getting better at gay rights even though they're still lagging behind some other Asian countries.