How to Find an Honest Gay Man

Honest gay man

There is an honest gay man out there somewhere – longing to find someone just like you

Dear Max,

I am a 43 year old man and I’m feeling very lonely. All I want is to find an honest and decent man that I can trust.

Do you think that I’m setting the standard too high?

Should I just settle with what I can get?

I have been screwed by every man I’ve been with and all I have ever asked for in a relationship is honesty and trust.

Why does this not exist in the gay lifestyle?

-Dean, Tampa

Related: New in Town and Feeling Lonely

Dear Dean,

If you listen to the news, you will know that women do go through the same thing. So it is not just a gay lifestyle thing, but the way our society is.

There are too many choices and most people do not want to commit to a relationship.

It takes a while to find the right person and you should never give up.

There is something you are doing that is causing you to feel lonely. So find out why you can’t trust men anymore and try to gain the trust back.

Not all men are pigs and you are one of the good men.

You are an honest person and there are many like you out there.

I promise you there is an honest gay man out there somewhere – longing to find someone just like you.

The problem is that many of the good men do stay home alone.

So my advise to you – and all the other good men out there – is to get out of the house and show the world that guys like you do exist.

Good luck!

Related: How to Meet a Man When You’re a Shy Guy


  1. I would add, as a much older gay man…

    Don’t sleep with someone just because he’s hot, or your hot to trot, or anything else. A great many men are just after one thing, no matter what they SAY. And if they get it, or they don’t get it, they are gone. So don’t give it to them, and you will find out a great deal about the man you are interested in.

  2. I seem to get burned every time I find Mr. right who turns out to be Mr Wrong I am now 69 and am getting tired of the bull shit that is out there and am thinking seriously of just forgetting that there guys out there to be trusted and honest, and loving with true love in their hearts. there are just many men who play and scam you if they can and it is just a fact of life and women go through it too even the straights go through it why does the human race play and scam each other.

  3. I’m also afraid that I may lose my dear. His nature is different from me. I keep on contacting him by sending messages but he hardly reply, I even doubt that he read my messages. When I call him, he pick up my call but I must be precisely say things to the point. He always says that he is busy, in unknown time, he phone call me like a surprise, even if I’m very busy, I’ve to pause my work and attend his occasional call. I meet him once or twice in a month. He looks so busy with something else but give less time for me. I knew he is faithful but after all, I’ve to accept him as he is, I don’t understand much about him. When I ask more things to understand about him, he shortcut his answers or get angry easily. He’s the winner, I just have to be content with his nature. I don’t promise him anything but I’m doing anything for him more than any common or special promises. He said he won’t leave me alone but I’m feeling lonely all the same because he didn’t keep contact much, yet, I don’t want to lose him at any cost. Any suggestions? Please … Thanks.

  4. I suggest you check out the word ‘control’! There are some people who’s objective is to find someone they feel is subservient to them and place them in a position where they are able to have them at their beck and call, anytime and anywhere. The reason why you’ll never know much about him is because he would never dare risk you finding out his own weaknesses and using them against him. In other words I suggest you ask yourself, other than sex, what the hell are you doing with a man who controls you and you know next to nothing about him and never will.?

  5. Gay men try to stay in the game i think for the most part. We know what the score is for what is expected as far as how to look and how to dress and we try our best. I do. It gets old, I am old. But for some reason we stay in it. I finally asked a young man who I trust what I am doing that might not be helpful. You know, not necessarily wrong, but just not helpful. He gave me some awesome feedback. He told me I was actually hot for my age and I was a good source of information for him, that I had no problems with the usual stuff, to not sweat that. But, he said the thing guys my age gay or straight might forget is that most people really are looking for a great friend. Even though people talk about the worn out long walk on the beach they really do not want it. They want a good friend. So, I have started to be more of what I remember a good friend was and is. I LIKE IT. It has got me real close to what I want a time or two and I think it might just be the thing I was missing. For whatever it is worth! (I am 68 now and otherwise would be real discouraged.)