You Are Number 1

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If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else

I got an email from a friend of mine the other day. It doesn’t matter who and it doesn’t matter where he’s from. Let’s call him Bob. Because Bob is the only name I can think of that gay men don’t have. Well…hopefully. Robert is fine. Bob is something you do to an … apple.

To say Bob and I are friends is a bit of a stretch. We’re not really close. We’re acquaintances. I met him a year ago when we were living in the same city. I met him and his partner, let’s call him Dick, through mutual friends. They were nice guys. I had a thing for Bob, but not for Dick (Ironic, I know. For all the reasons you’re thinking). And they were more than willing to play, but I just don’t do couples. It usually ends up like an episode of Full House: Disastrous.

PhotoBob and I did share a kiss on that first night we met. And it was one of THOSE kisses. The kind that curl your toes, and make you want to fall on the floor in some dramatic mock-passing out thing. It was a good kiss. It was DAMN good kiss.

Bob and his boyfriend had been together for years. Like 5 or something when I met them. And they seemed quite happy. They seemed like one of those perfect couples that can play together, and explore their sexual desires while still being totally dedicated to each other. Seemed. Things aren’t always what they seem.

So I got an email from my friend Bob. I love getting email from my friend Bob. He sends me naked pictures of himself. I like naked pictures of Bob. This is not the point. This is an aside.

But this email didn’t include digital treasures. In this email, I found out that Bob and Dick had split up. Dick left Bob (which I can’t imagine because Bob is SO much better than Dick – I know…Irony). And apparently this wasn’t the first time. In their 5 year relationship Dick had done this 3 other times.

I asked around only to find out that this is a common theme. Dick and Bob are living the happy homo life together. One day Dick, for no apparent reason, other than he didn’t take his Thorazine, decides that Bob is the worst person he’s ever met, and he leaves. Bob is devastated. A few weeks, or months later Dick is back at the door. He’s realized that he made a mistake and wants to work it out. Dick says all the right things and Bob takes him back. And the cycle continues. No replace “Dick” and “Bob” with other names. Sam. Steve. Daryl. Jamie. Michael.

I had a three year relationship where my Dick left me and came back 8 times. It was the most painful three years of my life. I’ve never been so miserable. But I loved him. I really loved him. In fact, he was my first love. But he was a complete ASS. I’ve never been treated so badly in my life – part of the reason I don’t date Leo’s. Leo’s of the world be forewarned.

So why does Bob keep taking Dick back? And why did it take me 3 years before I finally stopped taking Jonathan back (and yes, that’s his real name and if you ask I’ll give you his address for all that nicely written hate mail. Bitter, party of one)?

Simple. I loved him more than I loved myself. And the same goes for Bob.

Bob is a total catch. And I’m not saying this just because I know he’ll read this article. I’m saying it because it’s true. He’s handsome, sexy, funny, smart. He’s got a good job, and a heart of gold. Anyone, and I mean anyone, would be lucky to have this man as a partner. This is the guy you take home to your mother. This is the guy who you spend the rest of your life with. This is the guy you go on a trip to Canada with and get married. This is the guy. And damn it, so am I.

But Bob doesn’t love Bob. Not enough at least. And neither did I. We as gay men have no examples to live by. We have no role models. We don’t have the Ward and June Cleaver’s of the world to tell us how relationships are supposed to work. Parents set the tone for children. The way Mommy and Daddy live their relationship is more than likely the way junior will grow up to live his. But that’s provided Junior ends up with a Juniorette. And not with another Junior.

So where do we look for our role models? We don’t. And that’s why my therapist drives a Benz.

I think the message is clear. You are number 1. That may sound cliché but it’s really quite true. Or it should be. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else. The only way you can have a truly healthy and happy relationship with another person, is if you have one with yourself.

So Bob. Tell Dick to take a hike. He’s SO not up to the task.

72 Hours in West Hollywood

The perfect itinerary for spending three days in West Hollywood

Although many people believe it’s just a neighborhood of Los Angeles, the bustling community of West Hollywood is actually its own incorporated city, and has among the highest percentages of gay residents and gay-owned businesses of any place in the country. With its wealth of trendy shops, galleries, restaurants, and nightclubs – plus a nice variety of upscale accommodations and an attractive setting at the base of the Hollywood Hills, this vibrant city makes for a highly enjoyable weekend getaway.

Here’s the perfect itinerary for spending three days in West Hollywood, including a few ideas for excursions to nearby neighborhoods elsewhere in greater Los Angeles.

Friday Night
Your first night in town, opt for a relatively casual dinner somewhere in the heart of West Hollywood. You’ll find scads of gay-popular restaurants along the main drag, Santa Monica Boulevard. There’s Skewers, a cheap and simple Middle Eastern eatery with outdoor tables that provide a nice view of the steady flow of cute pedestrians, and Benvenuto Cafe, a mid-priced Italian restaurant with elegant garden seating. A more sophisticated option is Bin 8945 Wine Bar and Bistro, a mod Euro-style space acclaimed for its sensational, globally influenced food and more than 70 wines available by the glass.

From here you’re steps to more than a dozen gay bars and clubs. With a full weekend ahead of you, take it easy and stick with some of the more low-keyed spots. The Mother Lode and Trunks are a couple of festive neighborhood hangouts, and the Palms is L.A.’s longest-running lesbian bar – it’s been going strong since the mid-’70s. If it’s a new and stylish lounge you’re seeking, check out the swanky East/West Lounge, with its comfy armchairs and fancy cocktails.

Saturday
West Hollywood has always been a big breakfast town – people here take the first meal of the day seriously, and excellent options abound. One good bet is the Melrose Avenue outpost of the famed Belgian bakery chain, Le Pain Quotidien, which doles out heavenly pastries, hearty egg dishes, and some of the best coffee around. Melrose is lined with a number of fine boutiques, so you might spend the morning shopping. Set aside a little time to visit the striking Cesar Pelli-designed Pacific Design Center, which has its very own branch of the Museum of Contemporary Art Los Angeles. This airy, 4,000-square-foot space displays many of the seminal works from MOCA’s permanent collection as well as temporary shows featuring emerging artists.

Further your art explorations with a tour of the MAK Center for Art & Architecture, inside the R. M. Schindler House, a short drive away on Kings Road. Rudolf Schindler’s 1922 modernist home hosts rotating exhibits, as well as information about the architect’s many design accomplishments.

By early afternoon, when you starting feeling hunger pangs, make the 10-minute drive to the famed Farmers Market, which offers a true L.A.-style slice of life. This vintage market building is a social hub for all types – gay, straight, old, young, blue-haired, pierced, and so on. Inside you’ll find souvenir shops, a great newsstand, food stalls, and some terrific restaurants, including the Gumbo Pot, known for its terrific Cajun and Creole fare, and the funky Kokomo Cafe, which has earned the appreciation of such celebs as Jodie Foster and Drew Barrymore for its remarkably tasty Cobb salads, BLT sandwiches, and decadent desserts. After lunch stroll next door to the adjacent Grove Outdoor shopping center, an upscale, open-air marketplace with a fairly typical selection of high-end chain stores. If you’re a serious shopper, consider venturing over to the massive Beverly Center mall, on the edge of West Hollywood, where die-hard browsers can easily while away the afternoon at H & M, Ben Sherman, Diesel, and Hugo Boss.

Saturday Night
Dress your best and head out to some of West Hollywood’s trendiest dining and clubbing spots. For a meal, it’s hard to go wrong with either The Abbey, a long-running upscale gay lounge and restaurant that serves tasty and affordable American chow, or Eleven Restaurant and Nightclub, a swell-elegant supper club with juicy steaks and pan-roasted seafood, plus lighter sandwiches and salads. Serious clubbers can then move on to the neighborhood’s top gay nightspots – Factory, Here Lounge, and Rage.

Sunday
After sleeping in for a bit, wander over to the always-jumping House of Blues Sunset Strip for its legendary Sunday Gospel Brunch (seatings are at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m.), where you’ll be treated to a mouthwatering all-you-can-eat Southern breakfast buffet along with exhilarating live music.

A pleasant way to spend Sunday afternoon is to drive a few miles east of West Hollywood to 4,213-acre Griffith Park, whose famed Observatory and Planetarium played a key role in Rebel Without a Cause. The park is laced with hiking trails, and affords tremendous views of metro Los Angeles. Another way to get outside and enjoy a little break from West Hollywood’s urban pace is to drive up into the Hollywood Hills, which form the city’s northern backdrop. It can be fun, if a bit confusing, just driving around these narrow, steep lanes, taking in the views and admiring the distinctive architecture. One reliable route is to follow Laurel Canyon Boulevard up into the hills, turn left onto curving Mulholland Drive, and then follow it west until you reach Coldwater Canyon Drive, where a left turn leads you back down into West Hollywood.

Sunday Night
Your final night in town, you can stroll back along Santa Monica Boulevard and check out some of the spots mentioned above that you might not yet have visited. Or for something different, drive 15 minutes east to one of the region’s other gay-popular neighborhoods, Silver Lake. For dinner, book a table at the cozy Kitchen restaurant, a beloved and gay-friendly neighborhood spot that serves contemporary versions of American comfort food – don’t miss the buttermilk-fried chicken or pistachio-crusted wild salmon. After your meal, walk next door to the charming gay neighborhood lounge, Akbar, which is typically packed with an eclectic mix of hipsters, artists, yuppies, and students.

Monday
Depending on the exact time of your departure, you can set aside Monday to explore the beach communities of Santa Monica and Venice, which are both rife with cafes, shopping, and palm-shaded beach promenades. This makes especially good sense if you’re flying out of Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), which is also out near the ocean, not too far south of Venice.

Where to Stay
Although West Hollywood can be pricey, its wealth of hotels has led to sufficient competition to keep rates relatively reasonable. Here’s a sampling of top-notch, gay-friendly places to spend a weekend.

Owing to its location near the gay-licious Beverly Center shopping mall, the Hotel Sofitel has long been popular with lesbians and gays. The management is one of the few outside West Hollywood to market aggressively to the gay community (although the property is just steps from the West Hollywood border). From top to bottom this is a first-rate property with a distinctive facade and upscale French furnishings. The 15-story Sunset Tower Hotel is a 1929 art deco icon. Formerly home to fabulous stars like Truman Capote and Errol Flynn, it contains 64 rooms with stunning period reproductions, flat-screen TVs, iPod stations, and floor-to-ceiling windows offering some of the best views in the city.

A secluded all-suites property just off the Strip, on the edge of Beverly Hills, Le Montrose Suite Hotel has huge, meticulously clean and well-decorated rooms with fireplaces, kitchenettes, and private balconies. Enjoy amazing views of the skyline from the fab rooftop pool and hot tub.

The well-tended Ramada Plaza Hotel West Hollywood is the most gay-popular mainstream hotel in metro Los Angeles; it’s in the heart of the bar district and has a sleek art deco look and a cruisy pool and sundeck out back. Most of the stylish and spacious suites have sleeping lofts, and all have kitchenettes. Arguably West Hollywood’s hippest address, and a nice value to boot, the Standard has ultra-cool rooms with down pillows, silver bean-bag chairs, TVs with VCRs, Warhol poppy-print draperies, high-speed Internet, and private balconies – plenty of nice amenities considering the reasonable rates. The swish bar is a favorite place to see and be seen.

At the San Vicente Inn-Resort all accommodations are either in large suites or detached cottages with tasteful contemporary furnishings. The rates are quite fair, given the excellent location close to the restaurants and gay nightlife on Santa Monica Boulevard. Of course, if you’re unable to meet a cute guy at East/West Lounge or Rage, it’s nice to know you can always return to the San Vicente and, on a typical evening, find someone cute lying around the pool.

Eat and Play in Savannah

Savannah was propelled into a gay hotspot almost overnight

After years of lagging behind nearby Charleston in popularity, historic Savannah soared to new heights in the ’90s and remains one of the nation’s hottest destinations. Much of the city’s renaissance had do to with the staggering popularity of John Berendt’s best-seller, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, whose droll yet salacious account of Savannah society propelled the city into a gay hotspot almost overnight.

The jewel of Georgia’s lazily enchanting seacoast, Savannah was founded in 1733 by British General James Oglethorpe, who designed the perfect grid of streets and grassy tree-shaded squares for which this city of 130,000 is still famous. Savannah prospered as a silk exporter during its first century, before developing into one of the world’s major cotton suppliers. Much of downtown consists of elaborate brick and stucco Victorian buildings built following an 1820 fire that destroyed many of the city’s beautiful wood-frame Colonial homes. Had General Sherman not spared Savannah during his notorious and destructive “March to the Sea,” most of these Victorian structures would also have been burned.

Begin your explorations of the city inside the restored 1860s rail terminal that houses both the Savannah Visitor Information Center and the Savannah History Museum. This complex is at the southwestern edge of historic downtown. From here it’s a short walk north to City Market, a three-block pedestrian mall with a handful of gay-friendly shops and restaurants. Downtown Savannah’s shopping scene continues to evolve from traditional to fashion-forward – a Marc by Marc Jacobs flagship store opened here in April 2007, and many contemporary boutiques and art galleries now line the city’s oak-shaded streets.

Near City Market, you’ll find the gay disco, Club One, which is the performing home of The Lady Chablis, who figured so prominently in The Book, as Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is commonly referred to by locals. Plenty of folks come to Savannah to seek out the sites that were brought to life in this mesmerizing tale (although it is nonfiction, The Book reads like a delicious novel). Of particular note is the privately owned Mercer House, in which Midnight’s central figure, antiques dealer Jim Williams, shot and killed his young lover, Danny Hansford, in 1981 (the question of whether Williams fired in self-defense or as a calculated act of murder is debated to this day).

Its literary fame – or notoriety – notwithstanding, Savannah still rivals any Southern destination for its bedazzled and meticulously restored house museums. If you have time for only one, visit the Owens-Thomas House, a splendid 1819 Regency mansion built by renowned British architect William Jay. Nearby is the Isaiah Davenport House, an 1815 Federal beauty. To see a fine collection of classical sculpture and Impressionist painting, visit the Telfair Mansion and Art Museum, a memorable 1818 structure in its own right. In 2006, the museum expanded with the construction of the striking new Jepson Center for the Arts, which added more galleries and exhibition space.

At the north end of the historic district, the city’s riverfront is lined with a stately row of restored cotton warehouses – now containing a slew of touristy businesses – and a cobbled lane that’s sits a full flight of steps below the rest of the city. The best time to appreciate it and the views of the bridge and freighters chugging along the Savannah River is in the morning, when you’ll encounter few crowds. One great way to explore downtown and get some advice on the local gay scene is to take a guided walk with knowledgeable local Jonathan Stalcup, who runs Architectural Tours of Savannah.

For dining, avoid most of the mediocre eateries by the river and stick to one of the several local favorites, virtually all of them gay-friendly. One of the most famous restaurants in the South, Elizabeth on 37th specializes in subtly sublime regional cooking, such as sesame-almond-crusted grouper with peanut sauce; and grilled rack of lamb with corn pudding, stewed okra, and tomatoes. Sexy and sophisticated Sapphire Grill serves some exciting and innovative contemporary American fare – consider the jumbo lump crab cake with lemon curd, green-zebra tomatoes, and red chard.

A bit more affordable, chic Il Pasticcio presents contemporary Northern Italian cuisine – try the grilled gorgonzola-crusted filet mignon with a potato-pancetta gratin. Olde Pink House is one of those Savannah traditions that everybody should experience at least once – fine Continental fare with regional twists, like black grouper stuffed with blue crab and a Vidalia onion sauce, is served. Garibaldi’s, in an 1870s firehouse, prepares simple but very good Italian fare, such as pesto shrimp with angel hair pasta. For either lunch or dinner, the trendy City Market Cafe is a dependable choice, serving delicious wild mushroom, blue cheese, and prosciutto salad, as well as terrific thin-crust pizzas.

It’s touristy, but fans of Food Network TV star Paula Deen won’t want to pass up a chance to dine at her downtown Savannah restaurant, The Lady & Sons, known for its down-home Southern cuisine. An elegant basement space with a youthful, see-and-be-seen following, Jazz’d Tapas Bar is perfect for late-night snacking – recommended fare include potato-leek frittata with fig chutney, and citrus-ginger-glazed shrimp-and-scallops skewers. The lesbian-owned Firefly Cafe serves affordable American fare, including plenty of fresh veggie dishes. This dapper spot overlooks Troup Square and is especially popular for brunch (try the Savannah eggs Benedict topped with fresh crab meat). For post-club noshing, check out Sushi Zen, a hip and gay-popular Asian restaurant with a convivial vibe.

The bar staff and regulars in Savannah’s bars are friendly and forward. Although some locals shun the touristy and cavernous Club One, it’s one of the most impressive clubs in the Southeast, and it can be fun when The Lady Chablis is performing. Other options include Chuck’s, a friendly locals joint near the river that draws a mixed bunch; and Blaine’s Back Door Bar, a casual cruise and dance lounge that also has a deli serving pretty tasty sandwiches and pizza. Not gay per se, Venus de Milo is a sexy and sophisticated wine bar with a welcoming, bohemian vibe – it’s just west of City Market. Down along the riverfront, gay-friendly Kevin Barry’s Irish Pub is popular early in the evening for Irish music, food, and drink.

With the recent rise in gay tourism, Savannah’s grand old hotels have become increasingly hospitable to visiting same-sex couples. Among the city’s many classic luxury inns, the Ballastone Inn is renowned for its gracious hospitality and over-the-top, lavish rooms. The four-story 1838 mansion sits along one of the prettiest streets in the city. A mid-19th-century inn with an expansive landscaped courtyard, the Eliza Thompson House and its grand guest rooms look much as you might imagine they did when cotton was king of Savannah. Original heart-pine floors and period antiques impart a romantic ambience, and yet rooms have comfortable, modern amenities, especially the bathrooms. Of affordable chain properties, the Comfort Suites Historic District is clean, pleasantly furnished, and a short walk from City Market.

For the most memorable accommodations, however, look to the gay-friendly Mansion on Forsyth Park, which offers some of finest digs in town. This stylish mini-resort beside verdant Forsyth Park contains 126 rooms with smart, contemporary furnishings, plus a top-notch spa, a cooking school, two cool bars, an art gallery, and the highly regarded 700 Drayton Restaurant. Opened in 2005, the hotel offers further evidence of Savannah’s gradual shift from a bastion of Old South gentility to a beacon of New South panache and style.

Vacationing in Torremolinos

This Costa del Sol gay hot spot can keep you warm both day and night

The Spanish town of Torremolinos is a modest size city but is still one of the major gay hot spots in Spain with people coming in to party and relax in the sun from all over the country and even the rest of the World.

Located on the famous Costa del Sol (Sun coast) this resort is a favored vacation spot for gays from all over Europe and has a large number of gay bars, shops and restaurants that rivals many major European cities. The city itself may lack some of the charm of some of its neighboring Spanish coastal cities but its friendliness and openness still makes it well worth a visit. The city is located on a plateau quite high above its beautiful beaches so expect to get those calf muscles trained on your way back from the beach in the evening.

In the downtown area, it is common to see gay couples strolling hand in hand through the narrow streets as they navigate their way home to their hotels after a late night out at the bars, which often can last until early morning.

Torremolinos offers a wide range of different bars and clubs that cater to almost any kind of clientele. Some are happy hours bars that mainly are open in the afternoon and early evening but, like in the rest of Spain, most of the clubs do not get crowded until late at night. So if you want lots of people around you it is unlikely you will have much fun until after 2 am.

Most of the gay places are conveniently located in two adjacent malls so you can easily bar hop between at least a dozen different establishments which all are located within a 5 minute radius. Many are quite raunchy and it is very common that they have their own dark rooms. So do not get surprised if your trip to the restroom suddenly suddenly becomes a bit more entertaining than you where planning for.

Spain has an excellent public transport system and the Torremolinos train station is conveniently located underground in the middle of the city. Only a 30 minutes train ride away, the neighboring city of Malaga is well worth a visit and provides many of the things Torremolinos lacks, such as historical landmarks and shopping opportunities.

As you expect from a major tourist destination, Torremolinos offers a wide range of hotels and other accommodations, including a number of gay-friendly hotels and apartment rentals. Some of the places can be a bit “rusty” so it is important that you take your time to investigate the different options before you make your booking.

Pierre & Vacances Torremolinos Stella Polaris is probably one of the best locations for gay travellers to Torremolinos. Just steps down to the gay beach and a 5 minute walk to most of the gay clubs. This central aparthotel, with a seasonal outdoor pool, is 200 metres from Bajondillo Beach, Torremolinos. All air-conditioned rooms and apartments come with a flat-screen TV and private balcony, some with sea views.

The 4 star Melia Hotel is one of the most popular gay friendly hotels for those with a better budget. You get a breathtaking view over the Mediterranean and the Malaga mountains. The service is great and the hotel has many amenities including its own spa and parking.

Hostal Guadalupe is a cosy and charming gay run hotel which has rooms with balconies overlooking the sea, and a couple of bigger apartments on the same street. The majority of the guests are gay, and the gay beach is just a 7 minute walk away. The Nogalera gay clubs are 15 min climb up the hill to Torremolinos.

Madison

Once named the best place to live in America

The regional political ethos here is tolerance, and the city’s role as state capital and home base of the University of Wisconsin informs the community’s attitudes and its styles. About 60 miles due west of Milwaukee, Madison occupies an enviable position along a narrow isthmus between two picturesque lakes, Mendota and Monona. Biking and hiking trails crisscross the city’s gently rolling hills. It’s easy to see why Money magazine once named Madison the best place to live in America.

Other notable rankings – and there have been many – include being one of Outside magazine’s “Dream Towns,” one of Utne Reader’s “Most Enlightened Towns,” and one of Cosmo’s top cities for finding single men – presumably the focus was straight single men, but there are plenty of gay guys here, too. And here’s yet another fact about Madison – it has among the most unified and visible feminist communities of any U.S. city. Women, including quite a few lesbians, occupy influential positions in all walks of city life.

Although regaled mostly for its livability, Madison (population 200,000) makes for a great visit. The museums are excellent, and the University of Wisconsin (UW) lands top-name speakers and performers. The dining scene is on par with any city its size, and while queer nightlife options are few, they’re also convivial and friendly.

Engaging State Street, a transit-and-pedestrian mall, connects Madison’s two most important institutions: the capitol building and the university. If you have time, take a tour of the particularly regal, granite-domed Wisconsin State Capitol, which dazzles visitors with its ornate murals, glass mosaics, and marble detailing.

Up near Capitol Square, State Street is largely the domain of suits and politicos, but closer to the campus of UW you’ll encounter a more collegiate scene – cheap ethnic restaurants, bike racks, coffeehouses, and scads of funky shops. Don’t miss A Room of One’s Own, a capacious, clean, and comfy bookstore with a comprehensive selection of lesbian and feminist titles, local resources, and a considerable gay male section, too. There’s also a coffeehouse.

Also within the parameters of State Street are six museums that constitute Madison’s Museum Mile. The best are the Wisconsin Historical Society Museum, which traces the state’s progressive political history, dairy- farming traditions, and rich ethnic heritage; the Elvehjem Museum of Art, which contains a tremendous range of works, dating as far back as 2300 B.C.; and the Madison Art Center, whose holdings focus chiefly on contemporary works. The Art Center underwent a major expansion in 2005; adjoining it and the Madison Civic Center, with its 2,200-seat performance venue – Overture Hall. Prominent architect Cesar Pelli oversaw the immense project.

In fact, Madison is noted for groundbreaking architectural achievements, most recently the Monona Terrace Community and Convention Center, completed in 1997 according to the Frank Lloyd Wright’s ambitious blueprints. Take one of the building’s daily tours or head up to the rooftop garden for a free concert and lake view. Additionally, eight Frank Lloyd Wright buildings within a two-hour drive of Madison are open to the public. The must-see is Taliesin, Wright’s sprawling home and studio complex, about 45 minutes away.

Back on State Street, head away from the Capitol to reach the gracious lakefront campus of the University of Wisconsin, the domain of 40,000 students. Start at the Old Red Gym Visitors Center for campus tours and general information. Then drop by the Wisconsin Memorial Union. Out back, overlooking Lake Mendota, is the seductive Memorial Union Terrace, one of the Midwest’s most intellectual pick-up spots, gay or straight.

The Lake Monona Bike Trail Loop is one of several well-maintained trails in this incredibly cyclist-friendly city. Another great option, southwest of downtown, is the UW Arboretum Bike Trail. Pick this up at Henry Vilas Zoo and follow it through the esteemed and quite beautiful UW Arboretum, which has 1,260 acres of trails, forest, prairie, and wetland. Another spot for taking in the outdoors, the Olbrich Botanical Gardens comprises 14 acres of lush plantings, plus a 50-foot-tall pyramidal conservatory.

The presence of a political scene has infused the city with a bounty of excellent restaurants at the high end and what feels like a thousand cheap eats for frugal budgets. Food buffs shouldn’t miss Capitol Square’s delightful Dane County Farmer’s Market (Saturdays and Wednesdays, late April-early November), one of the best in the country. Across the street, you can sample many of those fine ingredients, put to highly creative use, at Harvest restaurant – a standout from the ever-changing menu is oven-roasted wild king salmon with fennel, tomatoes, and rosemary with an olive vinaigrette.

One restaurant turning nearby King Street into a dining destination, Cafe Continental charms patrons with an imported zinc bar and burgundy banquettes. The menu leans toward Mediterranean, with a variety of pizzas, pastas, and grilled meats. The Opera House restaurant also serves exciting regional American fare – typical is maple-glazed Canadian goose breast with walnut bulgur and dried-fruit compote. There are also extensive cheese and wine menus.

For fresh sushi as well as nicely prepared teriyaki, sukiyaki, and tempura dishes, tuck into Wasabi on State Street. Noodle joints are another Madison specialty, a funky favorite being Wah Kee Wonton Noodle. And don’t leave town without stopping by Michael’s Frozen Custard to scarf down a cup of Madison’s favorite dessert – in addition to serving custard so thick you could anchor a flagpole in it, Michael’s serves up fries and juicy burgers.

Shrouded within a vintage redbrick factory warehouse on the east side, bustling Fyfe’s Corner Bistro draws gays and straights for drinks and live music at its circular bar. The menu – black Angus steaks, stir-fried pasta dishes, crab cakes – is unpretentious and eclectic. Monty’s Blue Plate Diner is a fabulous home- style diner serving both tried-and-true and more inventive fare, from roasted- veggie sandwiches to luscious vanilla malts. Near the Capitol, Michelangelo’s Coffee House effectively captures Madison’s boho personality. This elegant, art-filled space has comfy sofas and small tables and draws lots of “family” – you can also get savory veggie wraps bursting with lentils, rice, spinach, and hummus.

Madison’s biggest and most popular gay night spot, Club 5 is a spacious spread offering a little something for everyone: a pulsing video dance bar; a patio, and separate dart and pool lounges for both lesbians and leather-and-Levi’s guys. There’s also a restaurant – the Fabulous Wednesday Fish Fry is a great way to sample Wisconsin’s most famous culinary tradition alongside a room full of dishy queers. On the east side, Ray’s Complex also draws sizable crowds – key amenities are the patio, volleyball court, casual restaurant, and spacious dance floor. Downtown, more guy-oriented locals joints include the Rainbow Room, which has a small dance floor and a cozy fireplace lounge, and the mellower Shamrock, a good old-fashioned drinkin’ and smokin’ bar.

There are several gay-friendly B&Bs here. At Arbor House, innkeepers Cathie and John Imes have turned one of Madison’s oldest houses into a remarkably eco-friendly B&B. There are two buildings, an 1853 stagecoach tavern – with original wood floors and natural-stone fireplaces – and a light-filled contemporary annex outfitted with thick walls made with reused wood and concrete, ceramic tiles fashioned out of recycled glass, and low-toxic building materials. Rooms are quite cushy, the top units with CD-stereos and whirlpool tubs.

Just south of town, the women-owned Hawk’s Nest Resort consists of a pair of beautiful, airy timber-beam cabins that are ideal for groups of friends seeking a getaway. Both units have three bedrooms and can sleep up to eight guests. A tranquil lake is just down the street, and this is a terrific area for biking. You’d never know you’re less than a 20-minute drive from downtown Madison.

Just 5 minutes’ walk from the Wisconsin State Capitol building, Hyatt Place Madison/Downtown boasts several on-site dining options and an indoor pool. Free WiFi access is available, and a 42-inch flat-screen TV is in each room.

Sheraton Hotel Madison is 20 minutes walk from the beach. Overlooking Lake Monona, this Madison hotel features an on-site restaurant and coffee bar. Each guest room features a flat-screen cable TV. The Alliant Energy Center can be reached in 9 minutes’ walk.

On the edge of the Town of Ennis, Montana, where the sweeping Madison River Valley opens wide, you’ll find the Rainbow Valley Lodge. Warm, welcoming hosts, Ed and Jeanne Williams, will make your visit to the Old West Town of Ennis, Montana a special one.