Is coming out always the right thing to do?
Dear Max,
I am 42 years old and in my second marriage, I’ve come to realize that I’m bi and possibly gay.
I’ve had a few sexual encounters over the years and now have a long distance boyfriend for the past 6 months that I see about once a month.
I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin because I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if I should throw away my current life and everything I have to lead a gay life or if I should try to ignore my urges.
My wife knows about my boyfriend and insists that I quit calling him.
What should I do with my life? How do I know what to do?
–Confused
Dear Confused,
You probably know deep inside what you need to do, but you are afraid to do so. You know how much pain you are causing, but yet are afraid to make a decision because you are afraid to make the wrong one.
So what to do? keep your wife or your boyfriend? What you need to do is to find out who you really are.
Who is going to make you happy and complete? Your wife? your boyfriend? women? men?
It is very easy to find sex, but very hard to find love. Anyone can sleep around, but it takes a strong person to be faithful.
The key is to be happy with yourself and to find the right partner for you. Life is full of decisions. Humans learn by their mistakes.
So don’t be afraid and take control of your life. Only you know what makes you happy but we can all see that your current situation is hurting everyone.
Good luck!