Friends with Benefits or Undercover Relationship?

Friends with benefits

How do you know if your friends with benefits situation is turning into something more?

Dear Max,
I met this guy two years ago and we’re now in kind of a friends with benefits situation. We run within the same social circle. Neither of us are in a committed relationship, but both of us are involved with somebody else.

We get together for that occasional – you know – romp in the sack. We both understand that this is just a physical thing that is between us. Nothing more.

I shared my secret rendezvous with him with my best friend. But my friend seems to think the two of us are more than just hook-up buddies. My friend told me that having a friend with benefits is just a relationship that’s undercover. I don’t think so, but now I’m beginning to wonder.

Is it okay to have a “friend with benefits”? Or am I in a undercover relationship like my friend claims?


Related: Can You Ever Really Be Enough for Someone?

Dear Undercover(?),
The sad truth about being friends with benefits is that after you have been having fun and sex for a while, more often than not, one of you will end up having feelings for the other.

I say sad because in most of the cases, that person ends up getting really hurt. And even though you say that none of you are in committed relationships, chances are that there may be other casualities as well.

So the real question is: By wondering if your friends with benefits situation really is an undercover relationship, could this mean that you are starting to have feelings for this guy? And if so, what are you going to do about it?

Would it be so bad to try to take it one step further just to see where it goes? At least then you can stop wondering.

Good luck!

Related: How to Ask Him to Be Your Boyfriend