I’m Struggling With Being Christian & Gay

Is homosexuality really a sin according to the Bible or is it OK to be Christian & gay?

Dear Max,

I think I’m gay but I am really worried because I am concerned that it may go against my faith to be homosexual.

I am Christian and my question is: Is homosexuality really a sin? I’ve asked different people and all the adults give me tons of Bible verses to look at.

I just want to know if it is or not because I don’t really understand the Bible and I’ve been fighting with this since I was 11 years old, and the pain is just too much.

And if it’s okay to be Christian & gay, is it okay to experiment with a guy to find my way?

I’m just stuck and I need your response if you could.


Related: 7 Awesome Ways to Celebrate Gay Pride

Dear Believer,

This is a very difficult question and there are probably as many answers as there are Christians on this planet.

It is true that there are verses in the Bible that speaks against homosexuality, or at least what can be interpreted as speaking against homosexuality. There are also verses in the Bible that says you are not supposed to eat shellfish and tells you how much to charge for your slaves.

I'm struggling with being Christian & gay

When it comes down to it I think you have to decide what the main messages in your religion are. Most Christians will tell you that the main messages in the Bible are to love your neighbor and to be good to other people.

Why not focus on those passages which are repeated again and again in the Bible instead on those few oddities that came out of a different time and a different culture?

Homosexuality is not a lifestyle or a choice like many fundamentalists want you to believe. God created you the way you are so how could it be a sin?

There are a lot of people that are both gay and Christians, and who have no problem with combining the two. I suggest that you seek up one of the many gay or gay friendly congregations that are out there. They can help you find your way in life.

Good luck!

Related: I Don’t Like Being Gay


  1. As much as I want to agree with this response, I’ve got to disagree….I’m going through the same exact thing you are going through. I was raised as a Christian all my life, still attend church on Sundays, sing in a choir, not because I have to, but because I want to. Everyday I wake up thinking “why me?,” and yet, the Bible says that God doesn’t give a person more than he can handle, which is what leads me to velieve that this is a test. Everything in life is a choice, and we all must accept the consequences of the choices we make. Throughout the Bible there are verses that can be interpreted as homosexuality being a sin, because it is…we are homosexual, bisexual, transgender because we want to be, not because we have to be…and why? because we are acting on indulgences, temptations, etc. that allow us to act on these thoughts without worrying about the consequences. For the author who replied to Believer’s question, you can’t pick and choose which passages in the Bible you want to follow and which you don’t…it doesn’t work that way. I do agree that the message is different for each of us and that we all interpret this message in our own way, but to be judgmental in a sense that impacts your faith defeats the purpose of your faith doesn’t it? Like saying when things are good, you don’t need to pray to God, but in times of need you should always pray…

    Believer, you’ve got to answer this question yourself. What does your conviction say? What are your morals and values in life? Do you believe that you are here for a reason? Trust in God, or don’t, but you can’t have it both ways. It’s difficult and it’s depressing and just not fair, but if you put your trust in God, who can be against you…seek first the Kingdom of God. Ask Him to guide you. We are all being deceived that to be accepting of these new ideologies is ok, but if you think about it, they are the purest forms of sin that one can commit. You’re in my thoughts and prayers…

    • You say “you can’t pick and choose which passages in the Bible you want to follow” but we still know that happens all the time. There are plenty of passages in the Bible that people no longer follow because they are outdated. People eat shellfish, they wear different fabrics, they don’t kill their slaves…

      • Ok, first of all, you just called The Bible outdated… I’ll leave it at that.

        Second, there’s a difference between knowingly picking and choosing passages to follow and misunderstanding and misinterpreting it’s overall message: intent. You say that people have chosen to ignore outdated passages, which is true, but there are people who still incorporate these outdated passages in their everyday lives. Seventh Day Adventists don’t eat pork, and some even go vegan because they chose to live by those passages. As far as wearing different fabrics and killing slaves, I think you may have misinterpreted a passag…please provide a reference.

  2. Seriously??? If it was a sin then why did he make men so hot and sexually desirable to men like me?? I wasn’t born with the devil in me or with some mental disorder. I was born Gay and I am Proud to be!! 🙂

    • I’m not saying to not be proud. I’m saying everything in life is a choice. Whether or not you choose to succumb to the sexually desires and temptations is up to you. And we weren’t born with the devil in us, but we are born to this world in sin…There’s a difference.

  3. This argument has been going on for far to long if these so called christians were christians then they would or should be acting like christians and excepting everyone for who they are I was under the impression that if there is a god then he or she (who said it has to be a man ) that he or she would except everyone no matter if they be homosexual, black or white or what ever, long gone are the days where the church were the lord and masters of what we could say or do the only sin I recognise is murder which I have to point out the church has been guilty of in the past lets take the case of when the church murdered innocent men women and children because they did not conform to thier beliefs anyone remember the inquisition.

  4. Believer, at the end of the day being a Christian is about your personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ and anything that keeps you from that relationship is a sin. This can be anything from eating cookies to killing someone. To put this in the simplest of examples, after Adam and Eve sinned it was they who pulled away from God, not the other way around. This is the purpose of sin, to separate you from God’s love. Being gay can’t ever do that. Being gay doesn’t make you a mistake and it is definitely not a part of yourself ypu need to feel ashamed of. What a lot of Christians don’t understand is that there is a major difference between being gay and being sexually immoral. I can give you countless examples and in depth explanations of why you should never feel that you can’t be your true self in the presence of God but I’ll need an entire sermon for that. Lastly I just want to tell you that I prayed to God for a specific husband, being Godly was part of that request, and now 2 years later we’re getting engaged. We attend church every sunday, we pray together and we have Bible study. God would not have answered my prayer if he was against it. Some people choose to use their homosexuality to enforce Biblical condemnation on their lives but rather leave that to accuser. I prefer to use my homosexuality as an example of God’s amazing grace that even a sinner like me can be welcomed into the Kingdom. We gays are to Christians what christians were to Jews back in the day. The point is that I know as an active gay Christian man, I’m saved, I have a strong relationship with Jesus (literally tell him everything) and I’m definitely going to spend eternity with my heavenly Father. I just hope that you realise the same counts for ypu and that you choose God’s grace above the devil” accusations.

  5. I am gay or bi I am married to a woman I enjoy sex with her but it’s hard to find a guy to have sex with .i wish i could find a guy with out having to pay for a gay web site

  6. In the words of the oppressed Quentin Crisp, (amongst many many more gay men down the years) …. ‘I am homosexual and I want everyone to know’. It is hilarious to think that a so called ‘ loving religion’ can turn nasty when it comes to a person’s sexuality. Indeed, homosexuality has been with us for as long as there have been human beings on planet Earth. The bible and all it’s crap can go whistle!

  7. The prohibitions against same sex relationships are all found in the old testament whose laws and customs Jesus told us no longer applied. Jesus makes no comment on the subject and neither do any of the apostles.


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