I’m Struggling With Being Christian & Gay

Is homosexuality really a sin according to the Bible or is it OK to be Christian & gay?

Dear Max,

I think I’m gay but I am really worried because I am concerned that it may go against my faith to be homosexual.

I am Christian and my question is: Is homosexuality really a sin? I’ve asked different people and all the adults give me tons of Bible verses to look at.

I just want to know if it is or not because I don’t really understand the Bible and I’ve been fighting with this since I was 11 years old, and the pain is just too much.

And if it’s okay to be Christian & gay, is it okay to experiment with a guy to find my way?

I’m just stuck and I need your response if you could.

–Believer

Related: 7 Awesome Ways to Celebrate Gay Pride

Dear Believer,

This is a very difficult question and there are probably as many answers as there are Christians on this planet.

It is true that there are verses in the Bible that speaks against homosexuality, or at least what can be interpreted as speaking against homosexuality. There are also verses in the Bible that says you are not supposed to eat shellfish and tells you how much to charge for your slaves.

I'm struggling with being Christian & gay

When it comes down to it I think you have to decide what the main messages in your religion are. Most Christians will tell you that the main messages in the Bible are to love your neighbor and to be good to other people.

Why not focus on those passages which are repeated again and again in the Bible instead on those few oddities that came out of a different time and a different culture?

Homosexuality is not a lifestyle or a choice like many fundamentalists want you to believe. God created you the way you are so how could it be a sin?

There are a lot of people that are both gay and Christians, and who have no problem with combining the two. I suggest that you seek up one of the many gay or gay friendly congregations that are out there. They can help you find your way in life.

Good luck!

Related: I Don’t Like Being Gay

19 COMMENTS

  1. As much as I want to agree with this response, I’ve got to disagree….I’m going through the same exact thing you are going through. I was raised as a Christian all my life, still attend church on Sundays, sing in a choir, not because I have to, but because I want to. Everyday I wake up thinking “why me?,” and yet, the Bible says that God doesn’t give a person more than he can handle, which is what leads me to velieve that this is a test. Everything in life is a choice, and we all must accept the consequences of the choices we make. Throughout the Bible there are verses that can be interpreted as homosexuality being a sin, because it is…we are homosexual, bisexual, transgender because we want to be, not because we have to be…and why? because we are acting on indulgences, temptations, etc. that allow us to act on these thoughts without worrying about the consequences. For the author who replied to Believer’s question, you can’t pick and choose which passages in the Bible you want to follow and which you don’t…it doesn’t work that way. I do agree that the message is different for each of us and that we all interpret this message in our own way, but to be judgmental in a sense that impacts your faith defeats the purpose of your faith doesn’t it? Like saying when things are good, you don’t need to pray to God, but in times of need you should always pray…

    Believer, you’ve got to answer this question yourself. What does your conviction say? What are your morals and values in life? Do you believe that you are here for a reason? Trust in God, or don’t, but you can’t have it both ways. It’s difficult and it’s depressing and just not fair, but if you put your trust in God, who can be against you…seek first the Kingdom of God. Ask Him to guide you. We are all being deceived that to be accepting of these new ideologies is ok, but if you think about it, they are the purest forms of sin that one can commit. You’re in my thoughts and prayers…

    • You say “you can’t pick and choose which passages in the Bible you want to follow” but we still know that happens all the time. There are plenty of passages in the Bible that people no longer follow because they are outdated. People eat shellfish, they wear different fabrics, they don’t kill their slaves…

      • Ok, first of all, you just called The Bible outdated… I’ll leave it at that.

        Second, there’s a difference between knowingly picking and choosing passages to follow and misunderstanding and misinterpreting it’s overall message: intent. You say that people have chosen to ignore outdated passages, which is true, but there are people who still incorporate these outdated passages in their everyday lives. Seventh Day Adventists don’t eat pork, and some even go vegan because they chose to live by those passages. As far as wearing different fabrics and killing slaves, I think you may have misinterpreted a passag…please provide a reference.

    • You could also say that god made you who you are.. he didn’t single you out, so long as love is involved i’m sure he’d have no problem over gender considering the mass scale of murders/massacres that are commited .. on the other hand how many christians break one of the ten commandments on a daily basis?? i think you’ll find that the number is so great you’d be better off counting who didn’t break one as the number i’m sure would be so much smaller.. Man isn’t perfect, he/we wasn’t born perfect, he’s born as god intended him to be.. if that involves being gay then so be it and as far as the bible is concerned it says “love thy neighbour”, what if your neighbour is a single man??.. it’s all down to interpretation, the bible can be read misread over a thousand times with each person forming a different meaning over the same passage of scripture..SO, if god had a hand in making your parents meet and decided to bless them a child to love and to cherish then if the child is “flawed” then it’s in gods plan for him to be “flawed” and if people have difficulty coming to terms with being gay just remember, god loves us all, and god forgives us our sins so live your life as you see fit, after all god gave you life to live it to the fullest in love, happiness and in peace.. not to fret over whether you can love the person you do.. he see’s all, he hears all and he made all and accordingly will forgive all.. gays included.. nuff said xXx

  2. Seriously??? If it was a sin then why did he make men so hot and sexually desirable to men like me?? I wasn’t born with the devil in me or with some mental disorder. I was born Gay and I am Proud to be!! 🙂

    • I’m not saying to not be proud. I’m saying everything in life is a choice. Whether or not you choose to succumb to the sexually desires and temptations is up to you. And we weren’t born with the devil in us, but we are born to this world in sin…There’s a difference.

  3. This argument has been going on for far to long if these so called christians were christians then they would or should be acting like christians and excepting everyone for who they are I was under the impression that if there is a god then he or she (who said it has to be a man ) that he or she would except everyone no matter if they be homosexual, black or white or what ever, long gone are the days where the church were the lord and masters of what we could say or do the only sin I recognise is murder which I have to point out the church has been guilty of in the past lets take the case of when the church murdered innocent men women and children because they did not conform to thier beliefs anyone remember the inquisition.

  4. Believer, at the end of the day being a Christian is about your personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ and anything that keeps you from that relationship is a sin. This can be anything from eating cookies to killing someone. To put this in the simplest of examples, after Adam and Eve sinned it was they who pulled away from God, not the other way around. This is the purpose of sin, to separate you from God’s love. Being gay can’t ever do that. Being gay doesn’t make you a mistake and it is definitely not a part of yourself ypu need to feel ashamed of. What a lot of Christians don’t understand is that there is a major difference between being gay and being sexually immoral. I can give you countless examples and in depth explanations of why you should never feel that you can’t be your true self in the presence of God but I’ll need an entire sermon for that. Lastly I just want to tell you that I prayed to God for a specific husband, being Godly was part of that request, and now 2 years later we’re getting engaged. We attend church every sunday, we pray together and we have Bible study. God would not have answered my prayer if he was against it. Some people choose to use their homosexuality to enforce Biblical condemnation on their lives but rather leave that to accuser. I prefer to use my homosexuality as an example of God’s amazing grace that even a sinner like me can be welcomed into the Kingdom. We gays are to Christians what christians were to Jews back in the day. The point is that I know as an active gay Christian man, I’m saved, I have a strong relationship with Jesus (literally tell him everything) and I’m definitely going to spend eternity with my heavenly Father. I just hope that you realise the same counts for ypu and that you choose God’s grace above the devil” accusations.

  5. I am gay or bi I am married to a woman I enjoy sex with her but it’s hard to find a guy to have sex with .i wish i could find a guy with out having to pay for a gay web site

  6. In the words of the oppressed Quentin Crisp, (amongst many many more gay men down the years) …. ‘I am homosexual and I want everyone to know’. It is hilarious to think that a so called ‘ loving religion’ can turn nasty when it comes to a person’s sexuality. Indeed, homosexuality has been with us for as long as there have been human beings on planet Earth. The bible and all it’s crap can go whistle!

  7. The prohibitions against same sex relationships are all found in the old testament whose laws and customs Jesus told us no longer applied. Jesus makes no comment on the subject and neither do any of the apostles.

  8. No, being gay or homosexual is not a sin, not as a human being and not as someone who has a faith!
    The religious books are written by human beings, not by the creator!
    Human beigns have written their ideas, their thoughts and their principles down, and all those who wrote something down was doing so out of his/her own interpretation of what he/she thought to be right, at that time and moment!
    What would you yourself write down, as guide to people who are with a faith and homosexual?
    Think about what is written, about for instance Jesus said, did and practiced!
    He said that people should love eachother the way they are, care for eachother, accept eachother!
    Who are those in the year 2017 to speak other words then Jeus spoke?
    Jesus included everyone, none excluded, in 2017 people who claim to be speaking on behalf fo Jesus, and even on behalf of God, that certain people must be excluded, must be thrown out of congregations becasue they have a different way of loving other people then these self-proclaimed clerics say…. That logic?
    When you are a Christian, you know that God created you, in the way God wanted you to be!
    Not in the way those self-proclaimed clerics say a human being must be, no God Himself created you the way He decided you to be excisting, he determined for you who to love, how to love and even when to love!
    No human being has the right to determine for another human to decide how that other human being is be, who that other being must love, and not how that other human being is to love another human being!
    When you are Christian you follow what is God telling YOU, what YOU feel God is letting YOU feel and know what is good, my advice (if any) is to follow your guts, a persons’gut-feeling 90% of the time tells someone what to do, instinctively (sp) some call, others refer to it as God’s input……
    And no, regardless of what other human beings say, homosexuality is NOT a sin, it is YOUR life to lead, and YOUR existence!

  9. No I do not believe that homosexuality is a sin. Most Christians would argue that it is a sin because it is unnatural and the sex is not meant for procreation, that you cannot have children as the bible instructs. But in a world that is faced by problems of overpopulation, procreation is not ideal as it would lead to more suffering. Homosexuality encouraged adoption which helps a lot of orphans and gives them a better chance of a good life. Totally disregarding the Bible, my argument is that God wants us to be happy as long as our happiness does not go against other people’s free will and does not directly cause suffering, I see no problem with being gay and I do not think that God would punish us for it.

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