In a Gay Relationship, What Age Difference Is Ok?

When you meet a man you like, don’t let society define your life and what’s within your comfort zone

Dear Max,

I’ve been presented a chance to get to know another man that is really interesting, however, there are a couple of dilemmas:

1) He’s 8 years older than me.

2) We work together.

I’m interested in him because we are studying to earn the same degree. We both have been flirting with each other, and I’m pretty sure the rest of the staff knows how interested I am in him.

BUT the problem is, he is open and I’m not.

So the real question(s) are: should I really worry about the age difference, working together, and the whole in/out of the closet?

-Confused

Related: 7 Signs That He Really Likes You

Dear Confused,

Eight years age difference is really not that much. It is all about you and your life, so it is really up to your ideas and comfort zone.

Working together may be a problem in some places as some companies do not want this to happen. Find out if your company rules restrict you and what you want to do about it.

Finally, if you are not out, that could be a problem. When you have a relationship, you want all your friends and co-workers to know about it.

So you either hide and pretend you are straight or come out and face reality.

Remember, it is your life and your job. You are the only person who can answer all these questions.

Be true to yourself and listen to your gut feeling.

Good luck!

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11 COMMENTS

  1. WHEN PROFESSIONALLY CONSULTED BY A CLIENT WHO WAS 24 YEARS OLD, I IMMEDIATELY FELT ATTRACTED TO HIM. I TOLD HIM i COULD NOT TREAT HIM BECAUSE OF THE FEELINGS I
    HAD FOR HIM. He is STRAIGHT AND i AM GAY. I LEVELED COMPLETELY WITH HIM. Well over A YEAR LATER WE ARE STILL HAPPILY TOGETHER. MY AGE and my sexual orientation SEEM TO BE IMMATERIAL TO HIM – I AM 75 years old! (And No! I am not wealthy, nor would I be of any use to him in his career).

    • Addendum: we
      have been seeing each other for almost 2 years now and we have a bit of kiss and cuddle sometimes. He’s still straight and I’m still gay. Last night he phoned me and sent me a cuddle.

    • age has nothing to do with love so if you love him don’t worry about age it’s just a number
      take care and love your partner.

  2. I am almost 73, and my fantasy is for “barely legal,” i.e. 18/19. In the real world, i would
    never actually have a relationship such as that, because I could never ask a lad of that age
    to give up the best years of his life for me. My point is, however, that at 18/19, a man is
    old enough to sign a contract, buy liquor (in Ontario where I live), and FIGHT AND DIE for
    his country. Therefore he is certainly old enough to decide whom he wants to be with. And
    to all those who would say — shame on you — the next time you look at porn (and we all
    know that you do), take a look at what you are looking at — I would be you a dollar that
    you searched for “barely legal.” So, to anyone who is wondering about an age gap (whether
    straight or gay, this is NOT a gay issue, it is a relationship issue), my answer is — if you
    genuinely like each other, if you are genuinely attracted to each other, if you get along
    with each other — then to hell with anyone who would put you down for it. I will finish with
    one old joke — When the 60 year old married the 20 year old, everyone told the old guy
    that it was a May-December marriage. The old guy said … You are right, and with any luck,
    I MAY last until DECEMBER!!!

  3. Oops, sorry about the gaps up there — I used the enter key to start new lines, and I thought that the line breaks in the composition would correspond with the line breaks in the posting. I guess us old guys still need the young guys to teach us about technology 🙂

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