I’m in Love With a Co-Worker

I'm in love with a co-worker

When is the right time to tell him you love him?

Dear Max,

I have a situation at work. I have fallen in love with my co-worker. The problem is he still lives with his ex-boyfriend. He told me he is still in love with him even though his ex sleeps around, and doesn’t love him no more.

And the second thing is he has AIDS. I am negative, and him having aids doesn’t bother me. Because I am very well aware of how to be safe with someone with aids.

What bothers me is that when we are spending time together, all he seems to talk about is how his ex is doing this and that. And how he wishes he would move out. He even asked me if I wanted to be his roommate.

But then he starts telling me how many good times they had together, how much he still loves him even though he was always unfaithful to him.

I don’t know if I should tell him I really care for him while at the same time he is telling me that he is still in love with his ex?

Thank you very much.

–“R” from Cape Coral

Dear “R” from Cape Coral,
It seems to me that you already know there is no room in his heart for you right now.

Your co-worker is still in a relationship with his ex. Even thought they broke up, he still thinks they are still together. Your co-worker needs to spend some time away from his ex to be able to move on with his life.

Are you going to be able to be patient with him and wait around? Are you going to take the chance that he may never fall in love with you? Chances are, you will be waiting for a while.

Furthermore, once he is ready to fall in love again, you may not be the one.

It will be better if you move on, but of course, it is all up to you. It is your life and you make your own decisions. So think about it and try to make the right one for you.

Good luck!


  1. Dear R from Cape Coral – you sound like you are more infatuated with the guy – all emotion and drama – and I’m afraid you are making the wrong choice. First. he is in a relationship – if he was soooo unhappy in it he would have left a long time ago. If you get involved with a cheater you could be just another notch on his bedstead – a cheater cheats and is not honestly made for committed relationships. I do not want to be rude but you sound a bit young and naive. Ask yourself this aren’t you really infatuated with him ? You cannot help being sexually attracted to a body but that doesn’t mean you have to get in bed with them. I also would warn you that you should never get involved with someone at your place of work – it will eventually get messy. Focus on other guys – not at your place of business – and with someone who is free to pursue a relationship with – and for god’s sake – not with a cheater. Now go out there and CHOOSE a healthy relationship – and don’t CHOOSE HEARTACHE – it is all up to you. Love Frank