Does Every Gay Man Get AIDS?

HIV / AIDS – How can we enjoy gay life when we have this horrible disease to worry about?

Dear Max,
I have some questions for you:

1. It seems to me that if you are gay you have to watch out for sex. diseases all the time, specially AIDS. Does every gay man get AIDS? Let’ say: If neither my boyfriend nor I have had sex with anyone or a blood transplant, is there any risk of AIDS at all?

2. I am not familiar with the gay society in the US, but where I come from, it seems that almost every gay is either very feminine (like that guy in Will and Grace) or very macho, with all leather. Is that true?

3. I have seen this question a lot, but you say different things from time to time: Is there any signs you can notice to see if a guy is gay?

4. Is it possible to live a “normal” life with a gay partner? Does it work, or aren’t gay people made for relationships with just one person?

Thanks for the upcoming answers, Max. I think you’re great!


Related: I’m Gay but Want a Straight Life

Dear Robert,
No matter if we are gay or straight, we all have to be careful about AIDS. Sex can be dangerous for everyone.

1) & 2) You can catch a venereal disease, herpes, hepatitis, AIDS and more. That is why you should always practice safe sex. Not every gay man get HIV/AIDS. Gay men are in a high risk mainly because of the kind of sex they have. If you and your boyfriend are HIV negative and DO NOT have sex outside the relationship, chances are very small that you will not remain HIV negative.

The problem is to really know if your partner will ever have sex with another person. If he does, will he tell you? will he have safe sex? can you trust your partner with your life by not practicing safe sex?

Here is a link about AIDS to help you understand more:

Make sure that you always get tested for STD’s regularily. I strongly recommend that you go to a professional testing facility, where the tests are even free in many cases. But if you are uncomfortable doing that it is also possible to buy the tests online.

If it turns out that you are HIV+, contact an HIV/AIDS Hotline to find out how you can get help in your area. Remember that you can live a long and wonderful life with HIV as long as you get the right treatment in time.

Greg Louganis and Michael Ferrera
Olympic gold-medal winning diver Greg Louganis (left) was diagnosed with HIV in 1988

3) In my opinion it is getting harder and harder to notice if a guy is gay. Straight guys are getting more in touch with their feelings, bodies, fashion and style. It used to be that if a guy was in shape and had great clothes, he was probably gay. Not anymore. Now it is more about feeling the way he looks at you or try to guess and wish he is.

4) Yes it is possible to live a “normal” life with a gay partner. Lots of people have great relationships and it is getting even better every year as society accepts same sex relationships. Some gay people are happy with just one partner and some aren’t. Like everywhere in our society, we find good people, bad people, feminine guys, macho guys, normal looking guys. Gays are not just one type. We have all kinds of different versions and that’s what makes it so cool.

Good luck!

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