I’m Gay but Want a Straight Life

Is it wrong to want what many consider a “normal” life?

Dear Max,

I am a seventeen year-old gay man. At least I consider myself to be. I enjoy the company of men and my fantasies involve men. But I see myself getting married to a woman and starting a straight life with a straight family.

I’ve considered my feelings being bisexual, but I am still confused. I am sexually attracted to males, but I look forward to women. I also feel I must choose a side, gay or straight and not bisexuality.

There are plenty of young girls whom I’ve wanted to date, share my life with, but it all comes down to the sexual desires I lust in men.

What do you think I am actually looking for?


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Dear Steven,
You are still young. You will need to live more to really know who you really like and who you really are.

Right now you are between a fantasy world and reality. You want to have the so called “perfect straight life” but you lust and dream only about men.

You have to remember that this is very common and you shouldn’t feel that you are alone in this. For many men this is a part of the process of growing up and becoming an adult and it may be many years until you know for sure.

Give yourself some time to experience both sides to see which one you really want.

Enjoy life, don’t worry too much and learn to listen to your body and to yourself. After a while, you will know who you really are.

So have patience and good luck!

Related: I’m Scared of Telling Them I’m Gay

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