I’m Straight but Want to Service a Man

I'm straight but want to service a man

As a straight man should I be worried about suppressing my urge to experiment?

Dear Max,

I am a 30 year old male who has always considered myself to be straight.

I have never been “attracted” to a man but about five years ago I became conscious of being turned-on by the idea of servicing a guy.

And I am very attracted to women and hope to get married to one someday and have no intention of ever having a relationship with a man. Furthermore, I couldn’t deal with anyone I know finding out I have this fantasy.

Still, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’d say for every three sexual thoughts I have about women, I have one about servicing a guy.

My question is, which head should I listen too? If I try to ignore this am I likely to develop some kind of mental issue?

Or should I do it once, just to have a gay experience, and try to “get it out of my system”?

–Curious in Minnesota

Related: I’m Gay but Want a Straight Life

Dear Curious in Minnesota,

Let me first start out with saying that you are definitely not alone in this. Many guys – and girls too for that matter – will try almost anything at least once. That does not make them bad people.

It is totally natural.

As with so many other things in life, if you are uncertain if you like something or not, you just have to take a leap of faith and try it out.

Some foods may look good and tasty. Then when you try it, you may be pleasantly surprised or very disappointed.

You only live once and if you have this on your mind and cannot live without the answer, then go for it. Having sex with a guy doesn’t define you and make you any more – or less – gay than you already are.

Hopefully one day we can put all these labels on the shelf and look at them as a curiosity of the past.

But until then, I do believe you will regret not having tried it out. It’s definitely much better to do it now that you are free and single than to have this urge haunting you when you are in a serious relationship.

Whatever you decide to do… please play safe.

Good luck!

Related: Born to Be Bisexual?


  1. I am married to a woman that I really love BUT here lately I am so attractive to men she dose not know I have Been with a few guys and really enjoyed it I thought I was bisexual I go through the motions having sex with my wife but when I am with a man I am really turned on about a naked mans body am I gay

  2. hayi was just like you i only liked women. I tried men wheni was in the service as it was expensive for a woman prostitute. well i had lots of gay sex with a man when i was in the service. came home got married and am on 4th marriage now over 50 yrs and still to this day i love to have gay sex so much better . I have been miseable married to a woman only timei had good sex is with a man. However i will say this probally if you are like me once you had sex with a man you will probally never want it with a female again??/

  3. married for 24 years, but having sex with a man turns on another passion inside of u. the total intimacy, pleasing another man, pleasing me is beyond words, as stated above, being gay, doesn’t make u less of a person even though society still isnt totally accepted of it.

    • Isnt it interesting, the thought that another man might be just right! Yes, i must say that you’ll find that sex with another man will prove to be extraordoinary. Not only that, but you’ll shortly come to recognize that this is the most wonderful sex you’ve ever had. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. We find that we love who we love, and that can go either direction.

  4. I did not have any emotional feelings for men, but i was turned on by gay porn. Damn, it was hot. I actually tried it once. I was really horny and called a guy i met online. He was like totally into men, left his gf. When he started kissing me, god damn that was awful. Something triggerd my mind. God this is not right. WTF is going on. It was really bad experience. I knew i was straight, but porn has actually ruined my mind i think. I still get horny by watching trans porn, but no will to do in real life. I was always attracted to women, so no problem.

  5. Johnny, you are right. One is either gay or straight. People just want to have their cake and eat it too. If you are straight, which it seems like you are, find a nice woman and get married and quit straddling the fence man.

  6. i would love boyfriend – but somehow still slightly scared as well as excited – having grown up in a different era – there is still so much rubbish and lies I absorbed especially as being a Christian – but affirmation from the Church and Vicar which is amazing. Lets move into an era where Church and LGBT+ can learn to love and support one another. we have so much to offer. I need to be loved and to love another too by another man – for the first time I can love myself after coming out. I have been assessed a 100 % gay so at least there is NO confusion which I am grateful for – I have seen a DVD of gay twinks – there is nothing in there I wouldn’t like to do too. But also interested in respectability and a positive image of being gay – something that has always been done perhaps by the loud and proud. Don’t lower ourselves to lesser peoples expectations. We can and must have positive self esteem loving our gay gifting.