My Friend Is Stealing My Man

Should I let it go and just tolerate that he is stealing my man?

Dear Max,
I met this guy online through a friend and we talked all the time, on the phone and online.

Turns out he was from my area doing time in North Dakota for the military. I really liked the guy and after a while he got discharged from the military and returned home.

I come to find out that he and my best friend have been talking and all. I have no problem with that but my friend has a habit of stealing men from people.

Ever since he moved back, he and my friend have both been talking a lot more, seeing each other and who knows what else. Should I talk it over with them or just let it go, even if it means that my friend is stealing my man?



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Dear Lance,
If you are serious about this guy, you need to talk to him and talk to your friend. Make sure that you find out exactly what is going on between those two, or you may end up losing both a potential partner and your best friend.

It is obviously bothering you so try to clear the air. If it turns out that your friend and the military guy is actually having a relationship, you need to figure out if the guy is worth risking your relationship with your best friend over.

On the other hand, if it turns out that your friend knew that you like this guy, and he knew that you had something going on with him, then you have to consider if he really is your friend after all. Maybe it’s time to look for a better friend?

Good Luck!

Related: Break Up Do’s and Don’ts


  1. Hello Lance
    I have just read your piece and I’m affraid I do not have the same opinion as Max. (sorry Max). It seems to me that this ‘friend’ of yours is no friend at all. This situation is clearly stressing you out. My advice would be to dump this friend with immediate effect. We all deserve happiness, but not by stealing it from each other, as appears to be the case here. I am sure you are a really lovely guy and you should find yourself someone not so weak as to let you down so badly. Good luck with your love life xxx