My Family Treats Me Badly After I Came Out

My mom didn’t take it well at all and she now treats me like I’m trash

Dear Max,

My mom and my brother found out that I am gay. I really wasn’t ready to come out yet and I didn’t plan for it to happen. Now I feel like I am screwed and I don’t know what to do.

My mom didn’t take it welll at all and she now treats my like I’m trash. She does not really talk to me anymore. It’s like I’m there, but she really doesn’t care.

My brother is scared of me and usually tries to avoid me whenever he can. We used to hang out a lot and I miss that. What should I do about my mom and brother?

–Really confused

Related: I’m Scared of Telling Them I’m Gay

Dear Really confused,
It is sad that some people still don’t understand or accept homosexuality. Your mom and brother need time to digest the fact that you are still that person that they have always loved.

You just happen to like men and it’s nothing wrong with that. Love is love, and everybody should be allowed to love who ever they want.

So be patient with them and just let them be until they are ready to accept you the way you are.

In the meantime you should reach out to other people so you’re not all alone with your thoughts. Make a phone call to a helpline, or chat with other teens at our gay chat. Sharing your burden always help.

The Trevor Project has trained counselors there to support you 24/7. If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk, call the Trevor Lifeline now at 866-488-7386.

You can also find a lot of great advice and encouragement in the coming out section at the Human Rights Campaign web site.

Good luck!


  1. I think you should do to others as they do to you! This may be a rather old fashioned way of looking at your situation, but believe me, if your mother and brother cannot accept that you are gay it is time for you to move on. It is incredible how, when it comes down to it, people are still stuck in the dark ages. You are only here once, this is not a dress rehersal. Get out there and enjoy your sexuality with like minded gay men. Do not waste your time on those dissing who and what you are,even if they are family. xxx