A Relationship of Convenience

Is a relationship of convenience without love or respect really worth it?

Dear Max,
I am 25. I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 years and he is now 51. Our relationship is hard and very difficult.

We don’t communicate very well, sex is almost non-existent, and I feel too often as if I am a possession. He is not my sugar daddy, he has never paid a bill of mine. I am a full time student, I work full time and I am a member of the Nat’l guard.

I always hoped when I left my wife to pursue this relationship that his and mine would be similar to my wife’s and mine. Laughing, spending time together, long talks, similar interests, and two people working towards one goal.

But I was mistaken. We seem to only be roommates in a home owned by his ex-boyfriend who doesn’t want any of us to make any one aware that any of us are gay.

I don’t know what exactly I am asking, I just thought you would have some advice on the subject. I think I feel it’s a relationship of convenience right now not of love or respect.


Related: Waiting for Him to Love You

Dear Confused,
it seems to me that you already know what to do. I don’t have anything against dating older people, but 30 years difference it is quite a big difference. Even though the age difference is not affecting you, seems to me that it could be a factor in your relationship.

You are right when you say it is a relationship of convenience. Relationships are supposed to be fun like you said. You are supposed to laugh together, have similar interests and work towards one goal. You know that and you know there is someone there waiting for you.

So do me a favor… stop wasting your time and wasting your boyfriend’s time and talk about your relationship with him. Tell him how you feel. Work something out with him to either fix it or break up and remain friends.

Like I always tell people, you only live once. Why not be happy?

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