If you have lived a long life as a “straight” man, is giving up the world you know in order to live a “gay life” really worth it?

Dear Max,

I’m a 51 year old married man, in my 4th marriage with a woman.

Since the early teens years I accepted myself as bisexual, but living in the darkness is pretty hard.

I love to share my sexuality with younger guys (10 to 20 years younger than me) and I’ve had fun in my life.

These days, I wrote a novel about a bisexual married man and his gay partner. During the whole process I felt sad writing about myself and my experiences.

None of my ex-wives, neither my actual wife knows about my bisexuality. My main concern, today, is if I have to tell my family, my daughter and my grandkids.

Lately, I have a strong feeling of living a gay life and sharing the rest of my life with another man.

Living in a small town of a Latin Country is pretty difficult to gay people, and mostly at my age, I feel like I’m going to explode.

Please, some advice.

-Carlos

Related: I’m Gay but Want a Straight Life

Dear Carlos,

If you feel like you are going to explode, it’s because you have been doing what others want you to do and not what you want to do. Nor have you been listening to your inner self.

So listen to yourself and find out what makes you happy. Life is just too short to be unhappy.

You are still young enough to make changes in your life and to make some new goals.

But you also need to be careful, as you have a beautiful family and you can’t be all selfish. You have to think about them too.

Try to find out what it is that you really want. Once you know what you want, try to find out how you can achieve your goals AND your happiness.

Is having sex with men more important than the family you have now? is living and sharing the rest of your life with another man really what you want? will you find that person in your town or would you have to move away from your family?

I would advice you to take a trip away from your family and away from everything.

Once you are alone, you will be able to listen to your feelings and may be able to make a decision that you will not regret.

And remember, it’s up to you if and when you want to come out. Anderson Cooper came out when he was 45. Here he is with his partner Benjamin Maisani.

Good luck!

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