How to Break Up Without Breaking His Heart

This is how you break up with your boyfriend – without hurting him more than necessary – so that you can move on with your life

Dear Max,

I have been in a long term relationship for 5 years. Recently, I found out that my partner had felt we were drifting apart and had found someone else.

I told him that I thought I still wanted him so he agreed to break the budding relationship off. The other relationship was purely an online thing.

However, now I’m not so sure that I want to be in a relationship with him, but I also don’t want to hurt my partner. I know I can’t have my cake and eat it too.

1) Should I break up with him?
2) How can I break the news to him?

I’m all mixed up. Any suggestions?

–Loving but not in love

Related: A Relationship of Convenience

Dear Loving but not in love,
Think over what you want and the reasons why you want it. Take time to consider your feelings and be confident with your decision.

Break up

If you don’t really want to be in a relationship with him, don’t let him waste his time. It’s better to let him know early so he can move on with his life.

This will give both you and him a chance to find real love and happiness with someone else instead of being held back just by the fact that you have history together.

There is no easy way to break up. Think about what you want to say and how he may react. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Honesty and communication is the key.

He may get hurt, but in the long run, he will survive. And whatever you do, don’t leave false hope. That is just disrespectful and cruel.

Good luck!

Related: Break Up Do’s and Don’ts