When You Sleep With Your Gay Cousin, What’s Next?

Gay cousins?

How do you proceed when you’ve slept with a family member and you’re afraid of the drama that may follow?

Dear Max,

I have done the unthinkable, and now I am not sure what to do.

I recently had a sexual encounter with my cousin. Actually, he is my stepbrother’s first cousin.

It was not supposed to happen, but yet it did. I have been fighting the urge to hook up with him every since we met, when I was 17. Now that I am 19 and he is 26, I think it was inevitable.

My family has pretty much accepted the fact that I am gay, and has been very supportive.

It’s just now I feel like I have overstepped that sacred boundary by sleeping with my own cousin. My family is very close, and I know if it is found out it will cause a lot of drama.

My major problem with the whole things is, since we finally did the deed, he wants more. Not just more sexual encounters, but a commitment.

He is talking about us living together and all. I want to, but that family thing is what’s stopping me.

I don’t know if I should continue what we are doing secretly, or just throw caution to the wind and just do it.

I would hate to be the cause of family drama. I begun to have stronger feelings for him and am not sure I am really ready to take it to the next level, as he always says.

Can you please shed some light on this sticky situation I have gotten myself into? It would be truly appreciated.

-All In The Family

Related: Young Russian Violinist Comes Out as Gay in Inspiring Video

Dear All In The Family,

I don’t really see anything wrong with dating your stepbrother’s first cousin. It may certainly cause some concern in your family, but if it is true love, it will survive everything.

However, before telling everybody what’s going on between you two, you should figure it out yourself first.

Are you sure that you’re in love with him and that you want to take it to the next level? After all, living together is a big step.

I know it sounds exciting and very cool, but it is a lot of work and lots of give and take.

You are still very young and very inexperienced. You should be concentrating on getting a good education and getting to know people.

It may be okay to be dating him to see what happens later in the future.

But of course, it is your life and you make your own decisions. So think about it, listen to your inner self and follow your gut feeling.

Good luck!

Related: Are There Any Hangouts for Young Gay Men Like Me

Gay love is beautiful – cousins, or not:-D As proved by this gorgeous Insta posts by hoscos. Enjoy it!

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Que te como! @jamesbwhiteside @bigandmilky #hoscos

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  1. I believe I am gay, I am now 67 now, might have found a friend I can hang with, both of us have got to give something to make it work, i always think of myself as a bottom, but he wants to be bottom and top, so I am willing to be top when he wants to be bottom, hopes it works out for both of us, I really need someone to spend some time with, thanks

  2. I think waiting a while would prove beneficial. If it’s true love and meant to be the opportunity will still be there in a few years. A few years (for a nineteen-year-old) could make a huge difference in a long-term relationship.

  3. I started making love with my 1st cousin when I was 11 & he was just turning 11 (we’re just months apart in age). We continued seeing each other for sleep overs, this cont. throughout our late teens. We were best friends, did everything together (we were tight!). At 18 I noticed he started acting strangely, he said it was “homo!”, and he never wanted to see me again! He got violent! After this he wouldn’t talk, or do anything with me. I lost my best friend & my 1st love!
    I always wanted to tell him, it wasn’t his fault for being receptive. Yes, he wanted it as much as I did, but still I wanted to say “I’m sorry if I hurt you, or made you feel bad about yourself!” One day I hope to find him, but since he hates me, I doubt it! But nothing is impossible!
    I greatly miss him, and haven’t seen him for over 45 year!

  4. I messed around with my cousin when I was young. There was never any penetration. When he got older he decided he was straight and didn’t want to fool around anymore. But he always kept my secret.