Gay Community Selfish to Ask Athletes to Come Out of the Closet, Says Rugby/Bobsled Star

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Retired bobsledder Simon Dunn thinks that  people “shouldn’t feel pressured to come out.”

Simon Dunn (born 27 July 1987 in Goulburn, New South Wales) was the first openly gay male to represent his country in the sport of Bobsled, but then retired in 2016.

He is currently based in London, UK and plays rugby.

In an interview with the London Evening Standard, the 29-year-old gay Aussie said coming out could seriously affect an athlete’s career.

“Everybody’s coming out is personal and in their own time. It is selfish for our community to expect someone to do it because of their public profile. Given the sporting culture, coming out could seriously affect their career.

“I myself was already out when I joined the Australian [bobsleigh] team, but from my own experiences I can understand why someone wouldn’t come out, let alone someone earning and risking millions of pounds.

“I wasn’t exactly welcome within my team growing up. Its not the easiest road to take.

“And also growing up I’d learnt to believe gay men have no place in the sporting world and it took me a very long time to dispel those beliefs.”

I couldn’t agree more that coming out always should be a personal choice.

But it’s important for young people to have role models they can relate to and we appreciate your choice, Simon.

Two UK Guys Wed in Beautiful Gay Muslim Ceremony

The first same-sex marriage involving a gay Muslim recently took place in the Black Country, UK

Jahed Choudhury, 24, from Darlaston, tied the knot with his partner Sean Rogan, 19, at a ceremony at Walsall registry office

The couple met in 2015 when Scott found Jahed crying on a bench in Darlaston.

Homosexuality is still very controversial in many Muslim communities and Jahed says he was bullied for being gay when growing up in a traditionally Muslim household to Bangladeshi parents

“I’d not long overdosed and I was crying on a bench and Sean came over and asked if I was okay,” Jahed told Express and Star.

“He gave me hope at one of my lowest points and he’s stood by me all the way.

“I tried killing myself, and I then met Sean. The housing association got us a house in a week and we’ve been living together ever since.

“I proposed on Sean’s birthday last June.”

The pair tied the knot in a ceremony this week, dressed in traditional Islamic garb.

Sean said: “I’ve stood by him every step of the way. I’ve helped him with everything, and I will for the rest of my life.

“People at the Mosque need to understand about gay people – it’s not wrong, it’s who you are. It’s not a phase.

“I’ve known I was gay since I was six. I didn’t come out to my parents until I was 16, but you always know.

Jahed’s parents did not attend the ceremony: “They just don’t want to see it, it’s too embarrassing for them.

“They think it’s a disease and can be cured, some of my family still call it a phase.”

But the young Muslim is still hopeful for the future: “I want to say to all people going through the same thing that’s it’s okay – we’re going to show the whole world that you can be gay and Muslim.”

Policeman Proposed To Boyfriend at Gay Pride But Wish He Hadn’t

Police officer Phil Adlem’s romantic proposal at last year’s London Gay Pride went viral but the aftermath was very upsetting

Adlem shocked his boyfriend when he stepped out from the parade in order to pop the question in front of thousands of people at last year’s event.

His partner said yes and the pair shared a romantic kiss while the crowds were cheering.

The clips of the proposal went viral instantly, but what should have been a happy moment of love sadly turned into abuse towards the Metropolitan Police officer.

“To millions, I’m the policeman who popped the question at last year’s parade in London. But to many more I’m an abomination – and that’s why Pride is still vital,” he writes in an opinion piece in the Guardian.

“The assumption that all is well for the gay community was seemingly supported by a video of me proposing to my partner during London Pride last year. All the media giants in the UK presented this video online as a positive story regardless of their political leaning. A clear sign of the changed times.”

Gay policeman propose

Related: Search pride 7 Awesome Ways to Celebrate Gay Pride

After the video went viral the couple received hundreds of abusive messages, many of them homophobic and insulting.

“To suddenly be the focus of an international viral video was unexpected and surreal to say the least,” Adlem writes.

“I had believed that it would stay within the Pride ‘bubble’, like similar things do every year.
“Nevertheless, I was on an emotional high in the immediate aftermath: I had a wonderful fiance and I was getting amazing messages of support from friends and colleagues.”

He added: “I looked through the online comments from the British public. Most were fantastic. Some made me laugh for the wrong reasons.

“But my smile did not last long as I continued reading. ‘Both should be hanged till death’, ‘Absolutely disgusting’ and ‘Don’t blame ISIS if they strike them!’.

“There were countless more, some with threats. A further hostile reaction at work from one of my colleagues and another from an old college friend was enough for me to wish I had never done it.

“I had requests for interviews but I rejected all of them. In hindsight, I was letting other people’s opinions dictate my actions.”

In a tweet, the Met’s LGBT Network says it will take action against the haters: “Sad to see grossly offensive homophobic trolling about our #marriageproposal but don’t worry we’re the police so we’ll be taking action.”

Related: NKOTB’s Jonathan Knight Engaged to Boyfriend

3 Gay Wedding Hot-Spots

Great gay-friendly destinations for your special day

San Francisco, Boston and Brighton all have solid traditions of being progressive and open-minded so there is no surprise that they have long been popular gay travel destinations. Now that gays are allowed to marry in all three cities, gay lovers are rewarding their dedication to marriage equality by spending hard-earned pink dollars on a booming same-sex wedding industry.

San Francisco, California

The City by the Bay has a long tradition of welcoming people of all colors and orientations, and the world-famous Castro District has been the center for gay and lesbian culture for more than a generation.

Ten years ago, San Francisco’s mayor Gavin Newsome ordered the city clerk to issue the first same-sex marriage certificates in the United States, and even though the marriages were annulled four months later, the move cemented San Francisco’s status as the premier gay-friendly city in the country.

Related: Gay Marriage: From Forbidden Fruit to Law of the Land

Many legal battles and court rulings later, California finally legalized gay marriage in June 2013 and San Francisco can now boast a booming wedding industry that offers everything from specialized gay wedding planners to a all gay women dance band for your wedding reception.

Some fantastic hotels in San Francisco are W San Francisco, Clift Hotel, and Grand Hyatt San Francisco.

Boston, Massachusetts

Massachusetts was the first US state to legalize same-sex marriage, back in 2004, and the beautiful, old streets of Boston has carried many happy gay couples ever since. It is one of the most politically progressive and socially liberal cities in the country, with a very visible GLBT community.

Boston offers a wonderful blend of stylish sophistication and historic New England charm that can create the picture-perfect backdrop for any romantic occasion. Walking through cobbled colonial lanes, gazing at beautiful art, riding along the Charles River, dining in the North End and relaxing in a Jacuzzi. All the right stuff to get your married life off on the right foot.

The city’s gay bar and club scene is scattered around town, but the South End and Tremont Street area is the traditional gay neighborhood even though it in reason years also has become one of the city’s most pricey and exclusive.

Loews Boston Hotel and W Boston are both spectacular, luxury hotels and Boston Marriott Copley Place is perfectly located for any shopaholic.

Brighton, UK

As the UK in 2014 finally joined the rank of countries allowing gay marriages, the gay-friendly beach town of Brighton on the south-coast of England became a natural wedding destination for same-sex couples.

With its laid back atmosphere, and the unofficial status as the gay capital of the UK, Brighton has long been a favorite for civil partnership ceremonies and has a large number of venues to accommodate all your nuptial needs.

The city hosts one of the most popular Pride festivals in Europe and has a thriving gay scene with many gay bars and clubs, as well as a variety of attractions, festivals, museums, and theatre.

The Grand Brighton has a magnificent location on Brighton’s seafront and Hotel du Vin Brighton is just a 5 minutes walk from the pier.

Related: 10 Awesomely Cute Gay Weddings

My Family Treats Me Badly After I Came Out

My mom didn’t take it well at all and she now treats me like I’m trash

Dear Max,

My mom and my brother found out that I am gay. I really wasn’t ready to come out yet and I didn’t plan for it to happen. Now I feel like I am screwed and I don’t know what to do.

My mom didn’t take it welll at all and she now treats my like I’m trash. She does not really talk to me anymore. It’s like I’m there, but she really doesn’t care.

My brother is scared of me and usually tries to avoid me whenever he can. We used to hang out a lot and I miss that. What should I do about my mom and brother?

–Really confused

Related: I’m Scared of Telling Them I’m Gay

Dear Really confused,
It is sad that some people still don’t understand or accept homosexuality. Your mom and brother need time to digest the fact that you are still that person that they have always loved.

You just happen to like men and it’s nothing wrong with that. Love is love, and everybody should be allowed to love who ever they want.

So be patient with them and just let them be until they are ready to accept you the way you are.

In the meantime you should reach out to other people so you’re not all alone with your thoughts. Make a phone call to a helpline, or chat with other teens at our gay chat. Sharing your burden always help.

The Trevor Project has trained counselors there to support you 24/7. If you are a young person in crisis, feeling suicidal, or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk, call the Trevor Lifeline now at 866-488-7386.

You can also find a lot of great advice and encouragement in the coming out section at the Human Rights Campaign web site.

Good luck!