My Wife Knows About My Boyfriend

Is coming out always the right thing to do?

Dear Max,

I am 42 years old and in my second marriage, I’ve come to realize that I’m bi and possibly gay.

I’ve had a few sexual encounters over the years and now have a long distance boyfriend for the past 6 months that I see about once a month.

I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin because I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if I should throw away my current life and everything I have to lead a gay life or if I should try to ignore my urges.

My wife knows about my boyfriend and insists that I quit calling him.

What should I do with my life? How do I know what to do?

–Confused

Dear Confused,
You probably know deep inside what you need to do, but you are afraid to do so. You know how much pain you are causing, but yet are afraid to make a decision because you are afraid to make the wrong one.

So what to do? keep your wife or your boyfriend? What you need to do is to find out who you really are.

Who is going to make you happy and complete? Your wife? your boyfriend? women? men?

It is very easy to find sex, but very hard to find love. Anyone can sleep around, but it takes a strong person to be faithful.

The key is to be happy with yourself and to find the right partner for you. Life is full of decisions. Humans learn by their mistakes.

So don’t be afraid and take control of your life. Only you know what makes you happy but we can all see that your current situation is hurting everyone.

Good luck!

Friends with Benefits or Undercover Relationship?

How do you know if your friends with benefits situation is turning into something more?

Dear Max,
I met this guy two years ago and we’re now in kind of a friends with benefits situation. We run within the same social circle. Neither of us are in a committed relationship, but both of us are involved with somebody else.

We get together for that occasional – you know – romp in the sack. We both understand that this is just a physical thing that is between us. Nothing more.

I shared my secret rendezvous with him with my best friend. But my friend seems to think the two of us are more than just hook-up buddies. My friend told me that having a friend with benefits is just a relationship that’s undercover. I don’t think so, but now I’m beginning to wonder.

Is it okay to have a “friend with benefits”? Or am I in a undercover relationship like my friend claims?

–Undercover(?)

Related: Can You Ever Really Be Enough for Someone?

Dear Undercover(?),
The sad truth about being friends with benefits is that after you have been having fun and sex for a while, more often than not, one of you will end up having feelings for the other.

I say sad because in most of the cases, that person ends up getting really hurt. And even though you say that none of you are in committed relationships, chances are that there may be other casualities as well.

So the real question is: By wondering if your friends with benefits situation really is an undercover relationship, could this mean that you are starting to have feelings for this guy? And if so, what are you going to do about it?

Would it be so bad to try to take it one step further just to see where it goes? At least then you can stop wondering.

Good luck!

Related: How to Ask Him to Be Your Boyfriend

Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a land of extremes and has become increasingly popular among gay travelers

Las Vegas has always been a terrific city for both bargain hunters and big spenders. It’s a land of extremes, an intensely glowing metropolis of lights surrounded by a veritable black hole of barren desert.

You can stay in decent hotels that cost less than an economy rental car, or you can splurge on a lavish dinner at a chichi French restaurant that costs more than a plane ticket to Paris.

For gay travelers, Las Vegas has become increasingly popular – and not only among gamblers. Queer folks from California, Arizona, and other Western states have moved here in droves during the past couple of decades.

The gay nightlife scene is not huge considering the size of the city, but does offer a range of alternatives for hanging out and/or hooking up, in addition to outlandish drag and musical acts at casino nightclubs.

Deciding how to spend your money is an enjoyable dilemma in Las Vegas – there’s much to see and do, and it’s easy to have a good time no matter your economic situation. Here’s the lowdown on the hot deals and decadent delights of Sin City.

Casino hotels make their money on gaming rather than room revenue, keeping rates low in hopes that guests will gamble more. If you wager a lot in the casinos, you may have fun, but you’re likely to leave Las Vegas with empty pockets.

One reliable money-saving strategy is eating at the cheap buffets found at nearly every casino. The popularity of these bargain meals has diminished a bit over the years, but you can still score a major dining coup at several places.

Favorites include the six jointly owned casinos with “station” in their name: Boulder Station, Sunset Station, Texas Station, etc. These places offer cheap buffets as well as inexpensive rooms and gaming tables with low minimums. Station Casinos, Inc., is also one of the most gay-inclusive job recruiters in the city.

Another spot that’s a hit with all-you-can-eaters is the Orleans Hotel and Casino, whose French Market dinner buffet normally costs just $18 (or $26 for the grand Friday-night seafood spread).

Reasonably priced restaurants are easy to find, too. At Mandalay Bay you’ll find the low-key, but innovative, restaurant Border Grill Las Vegas which is run by Food Network’s TV show hosts Susan Feniger and Mary Sue Milliken. On the menu there are traditional Mexican dishes such as tamales, empanadas, and ceviches infused with an exciting flair.

An other gay-popular restaurant is Firefly which offers a delicious selection of tapas plates such as marinated and grilled octopus, ahi-tuna skewers in mustard-ginger glaze, and chicken and chorizo stuffed mushrooms. Firefly has an excellent drink menu featuring mojitos, martinis and sangria that has been marinated for three days.

The city’s bustling club scene is another easy place to score bargains – many of the city’s gay and lesbian bars offer tantalizing drink specials, including Free Zone, one of the best mixed-gender queer clubs.

Free Zone is located at the Paradise Fruit Loop, a grouping of gay bars where you will also find the Piranha Boutique Nightclub. Known to push the limits, the Piranha’s website advises people not to arrive early because “you’ll never make it Vegas style” as these boys like to party into the sunrise.

Located on the Strip, Share nightclub, bar and ultra lounge spans 2 floors with a ultra modern and hip nightclub downstairs creating a unique dance floor encased by couches, tables and VIP cabanas.

As for hotels, the Luxor Hotel & Casino is a gay and lesbian fave. Known for its iconic pyramid shape, Luxor is located on the Las Vegas Strip and features a casino and live entertainment. It provides a full-service spa, 4 large adult-only pools and a hot tub.

A favorite haunt of high-rollers is the Bellagio Hotel and Casino. You could stay here for days and never run out of ways to spend money. The fancy rooms will set you back several hundred bucks, as will dinner for two at Olives, the restaurant owned by handsome chef Todd English (once named one of People magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful People”).

At the same property you can sample sublime contemporary French fare at Sirio Maccioni’s Le Cirque or the very juiciest chops at Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s retro-chic Prime Steakhouse. And don’t overlook the fabulous shops, including Armani, Moschino, Prada, and Tiffany.

Another dazzling high-end hotel is The Venetian, whose fanciful exterior artfully replicates the city for which it’s named. Here you might dine at French restaurant Bouchon, the vision of world-renowned chef Thomas Keller, who was named “America’s Best Chef” by Time magazine. He is also the sole recipient of consecutive “Best Chef” awards from the prestigious James Beard Foundation.

Or get some sweets at Carlo’s Bakery, a branch of the New York bakery known from TLC’s hit shows Cake Boss and Next Great Baker.

Waiting for Him to Love You

While you are waiting for him to be ready for a relationship, real love may pass you by

Dear Max,
Do you think it’s stupid of me to wait for this guy, Alex, who I really like a lot, even though he is not ready for a relationship?

We’ve been talking for more than 2 months now and I have already started to tell him, “I Love You.” Unfortunately, he has never said the same back to me.

I am really getting frustrated and can’t stop thinking about Alex. Constantly!

Please help me, Max. What should I do?

–Dustin

Related: I’m in Love With a Co-Worker

Dear Dustin,
Try to relax a little about your feelings towards Alex. Take it slow.

You know for a fact that he is not ready for a relationship. So you are taking a big chance investing your time and your feelings for a relationship that may mostly be in your mind and may never really happen.

When a guy says he is not ready for a relationship, usually it means…HE IS NOT READY!

In your case, there are three possibilities:

1) Alex may see how much you love him and realize you are the one for him and may want to be in a relationship with you.

2) Alex may just want to hang out with you for sex while he goes out with other guys until he meets that special one.

3) Alex will not want to hang out with you because you are too pushy.

Now that you know some of the possibilities, only you can decide whether or not you want to invest time and effort to try to change Alex’s mind.

Just know that someone special, who is ready for a relationship, may be out there looking for someone like you. Hopefully, he will not pass you by while you are too busy with Alex.

Good Luck!

Related: Friends with Benefits or Undercover Relationship?

Dating Grinds

Gay Rugby Star Sam Stanley Is Engaged to Silverdaddy

25-year-old former rugby star Sam Stanley reveals that he has just gotten engaged to a much older man.

Stanley became historic in August 2015 when he became the first British pro rugby player to come out as gay.

Now the hot athlete reveals that he has been in a hidden relationship with a man, Laurence Hicks, for seven years and that they are getting married!

Stanley writes on Instagram:

“After being a part of each others lives for almost 7 years, @lorenzo_uk has been my pretend godfather, uncle, cousin and many others in order to make sure no one found out about us and that we were a couple ? funny looking back after having come so far together. The most loving man I know and I’m incredibly happy to say we’re now engaged?”

Related: 78-Year-Old Vicar Marries 24-Year-Old Male Model

Sam Stanley tells Attitude that he and Hicks met on the gay dating site silverdaddies.com and that they quickly fell in love.

“I’d never had the feelings I felt for him before. It was pretty amazing and I’m incredibly lucky to have met him and call him my fiancè,” he says.

“Laurence proposed to me on our top terrace in Sicily over Easter. The views up there are stunning and as he said at the time, what better place to do it than the place we’ll be building a new life together. “

About the age-gap, Stanley says “I’m sure as everyone knows, you’re not doing anything right if you’re not getting criticised in this world. Laurence & I love each other and to us that’s all that matters. We’re proud to represent the many relationships like ours.”

We wish the happy couple all the best!

Related: World Champion Athlete Shawn Barber Comes Out as Gay