How to Come on to a Gay Guy Successfully

Come on to a Gay Guy

What is the best way to hit on a guy that could become something more than just a friend?

Dear Max,

I seek your advice, I have been living in a flatting situation with a guy for about 8 months. And I have never before ever had feelings for men.

I have had very strong feelings for him since we first met, these feelings have grown over the months that I have gotten to know him better.

We get on really well & share everything (including detrimental secrets). We talk about things (cars, furniture, house) as “ours”, and discuss our futures as though the other will somehow be involved.

I have read your advice columns on how to tell if a guy is interested in you, and have spoken to other gay friends. I believe that if I initiated something he would be happy to continue…

The thing is that I have never actually initiated an intimate affair – especially with a guy, and am hideously afraid of the possible rejection & ruining our wonderful friendship.

I know that on the other hand, if I do nothing I might miss out on the best thing to ever happen to me.

How can I overcome this fear – and what is the best way to come on to a gay guy? Thanks.


Related: How to Tell If He’s Gay

Dear X,

It seems to me that you already have a pretty good idea about what to do, but that you are afraid to do so.

The best way to overcome fear is usually to confront it head on.

Once you do, you will see that is wasn’t so bad after all and you may even regret not having done it earlier (not that I recommend regrets, though).

How can you initiate an encounter? There are so many ways.

Going out for drinks together is maybe the easiest. Unfortunately, chances are that if something DO happen and either one of you had a bit too much to drink, you could end up just as confused as you were before.

Dinner is usually the best way, but if you just invite him to the local diner or something you may risk that other friends join in. So you may want to invite him out for a romantic dinner and then tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best.

If he says no, at least you tried and now you know what to expect. And you gained some experience in the process.

If he says yes, well…you will be the happiest man on earth.

Good luck!

Related: How to Make Him Fall for You