How to Come on to a Gay Guy Successfully

Max Salazar
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How to Come on to a Gay Guy Successfully

What is the best way to hit on a guy that could become something more than just a friend?

Dear Max,

I seek your advice, I have been living in a flatting situation with a guy for about 8 months. And I have never before ever had feelings for men.

I have had very strong feelings for him since we first met, these feelings have grown over the months that I have gotten to know him better.

We get on really well & share everything (including detrimental secrets). We talk about things (cars, furniture, house) as “ours”, and discuss our futures as though the other will somehow be involved.

I have read your advice columns on how to tell if a guy is interested in you, and have spoken to other gay friends. I believe that if I initiated something he would be happy to continue…

The thing is that I have never actually initiated an intimate affair – especially with a guy, and am hideously afraid of the possible rejection & ruining our wonderful friendship.

I know that on the other hand, if I do nothing I might miss out on the best thing to ever happen to me.

How can I overcome this fear – and what is the best way to come on to a gay guy? Thanks.

-X

Related: How to Tell If He’s Gay

Dear X,

It seems to me that you already have a pretty good idea about what to do, but that you are afraid to do so.

The best way to overcome fear is usually to confront it head on.

Once you do, you will see that is wasn’t so bad after all and you may even regret not having done it earlier (not that I recommend regrets, though).

How can you initiate an encounter? There are so many ways.

Going out for drinks together is maybe the easiest. Unfortunately, chances are that if something DO happen and either one of you had a bit too much to drink, you could end up just as confused as you were before.

Dinner is usually the best way, but if you just invite him to the local diner or something you may risk that other friends join in. So you may want to invite him out for a romantic dinner and then tell him how you feel. Honesty is the best.

If he says no, at least you tried and now you know what to expect. And you gained some experience in the process.

If he says yes, well…you will be the happiest man on earth.

Good luck!

Related: How to Make Him Fall for You

Ricky Martin and Fiance Jwan Yosef Post Pictures from Devastated Puerto Rico

Zayn Williams
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Ricky Martin and Fiance Jwan Yosef Post Pictures from Devastated Puerto Rico

Ricky Martin and his fiance Jwan Yosef have posted a number of pictures from hard hit Puerto Rico on Instagram

The pictures show the devastation after Hurricane Maria hit the island last month, but also hope as the rebuid efforts start.

‘My island will shine again’

Ricky Martin, Gloria Estefan, Luis Fonsi and many other Latino artists traveled to San Juan, Puerto Rico, on Monday to help sort through donations and connect with people who have lost their homes and belongings in wake of Hurricane Maria.

Ricky, who was born in San Juan, posted images of the rebuild effort on the island, writing: ‘Everything is going to be ok and my island will shine again. BUT WE NEED TO WORK……ALOT.’

Hurricane Maria killed more than 30 people when she hit Puerto Rico and destroyed about 80 percent of the island’s crop.

Ricky writes on Instagram: ‘It’s incredibly intense what Puerto Rico is going through at the moment. It will take a long time for my island to go back [to] what it was.

‘The governor of Puerto Rico Ricardo Rosselló said it will cost approximately 90 billion dollars to rebuild the island.

‘We need more help. Thousands of families lost EVERYTHING …….but their smiles and love for life is intact.’

Jwan also posted an update on Instagram, writing: ‘For Puerto Rico this beautiful resilient island.’

In February, Ricky revealed to Andy Cohen that he and Jwan actually met on Instagram.

Related: Ricky Martin Shows off His Swedish Boyfriend

How to Get Your Friend to Come Out as Gay

Max Salazar
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How to Get Your Friend to Come Out as Gay

Is it ok to feel betrayed if your friend refuses to come out to you?

Dear Max,

I LOVE your column here on b-gay.com!! Anyways, I wonder how wrong I am.

I have two roommates and both of them know that I’m bi. One of my roommates is straight and both he and I know that my other roommate is gay or at least bi.

But he’s so far in the closet he won’t admit to it to even me. Which I think is really weird.

A part of me feels betrayed that he doesn’t trust me enough to come out to me even though I trusted him enough to come out to him a while back.

My other roommate keeps telling me that I shouldn’t think too much about it but I can’t leave it alone. I can’t help but believe that he would be happier if he did come out.

As a result, my relationship with him has been somewhat strained and I don’t like having these feelings about him.

How bad am I in the wrong here?

-Concerned friend

Related: Gay Community Selfish to Ask Athletes to Come Out

Dear Concerned friend,

He may be straight, he may be gay, he may be bi or he may not even know what he is yet. The fact is, unless he decides otherwise it’s really no one’s business but his own.

Whatever his reasons may be to not come out to you – if he is in fact bi/gay – the important thing is to make him know that you will be there for him no matter what.

So relax and enjoy your friendship.

Stop being an expert on how he should run his life and focus your energy on being there for him no matter who he likes or says he likes.

Good luck!

Ricky Martin came out when he was 39.

 

Related: My Family Treats Me Badly After I Came Out

I’m in Love with a Boy at School

Max Salazar
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I’m in Love with a Boy at School

Should you take the chance on a boy you know is straight?

Dear Max,
there is this boy that I really like at school. But he is straight, or at least I’m quite sure that he is.

I really want to tell him how I feel, but I can’t bring myself to do it because I’m afraid that he will hate me.

I can’t stand this! It’s taking over my life and I think about him 24/7. I just can’t get him out of my head.

Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Is it better to just let it all out in the open and hope for the best?

Thanks Max, you give great advice! 🙂

–Francis

Related: Waiting for Him to Love You

Dear Francis,
why even bother? The guy is most likely straight! He will never be yours – no matter how much you want it – so it’s really just a total waste of your time.

Focus your energy into someone who is gay and who is going to give you what you need and the love that you deserve.

Remember, straight men are like a Barbie doll collection. You can look at them, you may be able to play with them, but they will never love you back or will never want to be in a real relationship with you.

So save yourself some hurt and keep that infatuation to yourself. Keep him as a fantasy.

That way, you can have him any time you want. The reality is – in real life – you can’t.

Related: How to Tell People That You’re Gay

“I’m Gay”: Dynasty’s Adam Carrington Comes Out

Zayn Williams
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“I’m Gay”: Dynasty’s Adam Carrington Comes Out

Gordon Thomson, who played Adam Carrington on the 80’s soap classic “Dynasty,” comes out as gay at 72

In an exclusive interview with Daily Beast, Gordon Thomson talks about the Hollywood closet, coming out and the famous gay story line on Dynasty.

“It’s very nice to be as candid as I have been, believe me,” Thomson says about coming out late in life.

“When I was growing up it [homosexuality] was a crime, and then classified as a mental illness.

“It was not until Pierre Trudeau was prime minister of Canada when I was 23, 24 years old, did it cease being a crime, and it was not until I was nearly 30 that it stopped being classified as a mental illness in the U.S. So you’re dealing with that. And the shame, the breathtaking lack of self-esteem, has only just begun to seep out of my soul.”

Fortunately times have changed, and the Canadian actor says he’s now comfortable with letting the world know.

“I’m assuming that people know, and now that I’m my age that’s fine. I don’t go out of my way because it’s my generation, I think. I’m probably as homophobic as any gay man alive because of my background.”

Thomson says he never felt the urge, as a gay actor, to protest against how the writers portrayed gays through the character Steven on the show:

“Oh no. No. I wasn’t out, are you kidding?” Thomson says.

Related: Aaron Carter Comes Out as Bisexual

“The show, the time, the fact I was a leading man to look at. No. No. No. Rock [Hudson, who appeared in Dynasty before dying of complications due to AIDS, and whose kiss with Linda Evans’ Krystle was notorious because of ’80s AIDS panic] only came out when he got sick. This was an utterly different time.

Gordon Thomson
Gordon Thomson

“Richard Chamberlain (Dr. Kildare, The Thorn Birds), who I know very slightly, had what I think was the right attitude to it. If you look like a leading man, why bother coming out? You don’t have to. The fact is half your audience is women and most of those women are straight, and this is who you are playing to especially with a show like Dynasty, or a soap opera.

“You’re also a source of fantasy. Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi are wonderful people, but pardon me, how many audience members fantasize about f*cking either one of them? Really. It had a lot to do with what you looked like, I’m afraid.”

The Canadian actor is definitely no fan of CW’s reboot of the show, though.
“I have had a look at the new Dynasty and I am appalled. What the f*ck is the CW doing?”

Related: Gay Star Trek Romance Between Anthony Rapp and Wilson Cruz

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